In training for the next Magic Round mascot race, ducking for cover like a Melbourne Storm assistant coach, only slightly less corrupt that a powerful sporting body, asking the nearest president to overturn his ban at the local RSL for a drunken walk through a fountain, and playing out of position for the good of the team, it’s time for some Rugby League tips and opinion from The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey. The NRL Donkey provides his NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 19 Review & Ratings on the weekend of rugby league that was.
This NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 19 Review & Ratings is all new, and offers up a second serving of rugby league in a week. Why would the world need twice the NRL Donkey? First of all, how rude. Secondly, because no one delivers rugby league with such an honest, almost churlish attitude, not afraid to tell rugby league what he thinks. And now he gives it with both barrels – and both ends of a rugby league weekend in the NRL, with a review with a match by match thoughts and a preview with all the opinion and more.
Related – more serious Rugby League gear
NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 19 Review
Here’s the NRL Donkey’s thoughts and mini rants on all of the games from the previous weekend.
FRI 8PM – WESTS TIGERS 6 WAHS 32
How bad are the Wests Tigers? Perhaps they should get a bigger vehicle than the one they’re using to shop Jarome Luai around with. They’re always talking about buses. Maybe the need one of those classic RSL minibuses. Their current run seems more of a waste than their seasons at the bottom of the table, because they have better players now and look good at times, but the end result is only slightly. Would have been one of the poorest performances of the weekend, but the Dolphins politely asked the Tigers to hold their beer.
SAT 3PM – DOLPHINS 0 CRONULLA 66
How sad that the two trips to Redcliffe for the teams that probably should have been known as Redcliffe, where you can’t get a ticket for have now lost by a combined 100 points in two games. Whilst folk on social media say shame of those “fans” who put sh!t on their team, but c’mon now, if you side loses by a 100 points over two games, they deserve a proper bollocking. If you’re at restaurant and their serving up slop, most won’t finish the meal, so if people are bored of their team losing by 50-0 so be it. Of course the ones that don’t come back can go and get stuffed, and risk the wrath of Ray Stone knocking on their door to ask why, but 66-0 is a loss to walk out on. And I thought the Manly one was bad, which it was. Perhaps the floggings at Redcliffe are a way of scaring people off so it will become easier for normal people to get a ticket at Dolphin Oval in 2027, getting a ticket for a game there is harder than a FIFA Semi Final.
SAT 5:30PM – BULLDOGS 16 RAIDERS 40
This game sums up the Bulldogs season. Expected to win and didn’t. Step[hen Crichton is injured, they looked poor at times and everything will probably end up being Lachie Galvin’s fault. It was a refreshing change for Canberra who played well and won for a change. Maybe it was the shadow of a grumpy Ricky, or maybe it’s just the players enjoying not being in Canberra in winter. Most would.
SAT 7:30PM – ROOSTERS 28 PARRAMATTA 12
The canny punters were rubbing their hands at half time with only four points separating them, but as ever Parramatta played sort of well and lost and the Roosters played so of ok for a while and won.
SUN 2PM – SOUTH SYDNEY 26 NEWCASTLE 24
Not even Newcastle are big enough jerks to spoil the massive birthday party for Jai Arrow. Although they seemed to be trying hard at the end to do so. Although if this was soccer aka football, and you replaced Jai Arrow with Lionel Messi, and replaced South Sydney with Argentina, FIFA would have stepped in to stop any further Newcastle points.
SUN 4PM – MANLY 18 NORTH QUEENSLAND 19
The Cowboys remain the elusive team to tip, even more unpredictable than a straight in the middle east. They did have a decent record at Brookvale going into this game and leave the north score with a better record.
SUN 6:15PM – MELBOURNE 22 GOLD COAST 18
The Storm management had plasterers, glazers and counsellors on stand by after the Storm’s close shave with the Gold Coast, needing a late try, and help from officials approaching FIFA levels to get over the line. Gold Coast Titan’s head coach suggested that lower ranked teams get bad decisions, and he’s right, they do. The Titans would know, they’ve been lower ranked for quite some time. They can improve their luck by changing colours to the Chargers jersey full time, make a killing in replica jerseys sales, pump that money back into better players, to get more money, then bribe the NRL like FIFA for a better deal.
NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 19 Ratings
The Gurgler website is famed for the many, many stats and visuals on offer, and the NRL Donkey was feeling a little left out.
But of course the NRL Donkey doesn’t want to celebrate the good, his cynicism won’t allow it, so he has found two ways to celebrate the mediocre. The first is taking The Gurgler’s all-new Player Ratings system, where stats are used to determine a player score out of ten, and flipping it’s on it’s head by taking the worst scores in each position. Secondly, he has devised a way of seeing which players was the worst contributor, coming up with a points system for all manners of errors, penalties, missed tackles, and gave it the subtle title of the Sh!t Play Inde.
Plus AI Greg is here for his best of from the weekend.
AI Greg’s Best AI Round 19 Pic
Ahh, no one does pictorial rugby league like AI Gemini and Greg Norman. Here’s this weekend’s best.
‘NRL Donkey’s Stats – Not Quite Team of the Week
Here are the lowest ranked players per position to create the Not Quite Team of the Week.
NRL Donkey’s Stats – Sh!t Play Index
Compiling missed tackles, penalties, errors on a sliding scale, here are the top 10 most “influential” players this weekend.
