More effective than an interim coach but not interested in the Dragons permanent coaching job, on a worse losing streak than the Storm, in training for the next mascot race, drinking quietly in a corner of the Caxton Hotel carpark, it’s time for some Rugby League tips and opinion from The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey. The NRL Donkey provides his NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 10 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
The NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Magic Round Weekly Opinion
Magic Round is here, and it is pretty clever timing from the NRL.
Just when people are starting to bore of Penrith grinding out wins, Bunker stuffing up the most easiest of calls, Alex Johnston scoring millions of tries, hopeless Video Ref Challenges made my props who should be disallowed from convincing their captains to ever challenge a decision, and whatever tedious rule interpretation the NRL come up with this week to annoy fans, and wondering when/if the Dragons will win a game in 2026, although people will never bore of Ray Stone, or do so at their own peril, the Magic Round appears to put a spring in every rugby league fans step.
Well, except Canberra, they don’t get to play this year. Shame, people seem to like them, a lot more in 2025 when they won more than usual, but thanks to players like Big Mal, Gary Belcher, some of the Walters, and to a lesser degree Steve Jackson which is a real shame because he is a Bonafide Queensland Grand Final legend, the Raiders are quite popular in Queensland.
But is it unfair on Canberra to miss out? Who knows. Either way there should be other and more hilarious ways of decided who doesn’t get to play in Magic Round, but more on that later.
You could also argue that it is sneaky timing from the NRL for Magic Round. The NRL acting like parents taking the kids out for Ice Cream before they head to the Doctor for a plethora of vaccination needles they know the kids would hide from them if they advised beforehand. The analogy I’m getting to, and let’s hope it’s worth the wait, is that Magic Round is the Ice Cream, and the upcoming State of Origin affected, bye-heavy, players missing, late-withdrawals, Billy Slater smugging it up as coach, version of rugby league is the needle to the eyes for the next two months. And both leave a lump on the arm and hurt for days.
And for you sovereign citizens, you can replace the needles analogy with something that fit your strategy for life. Although, I doubt sovereign citizens would like rugby league and therefore would read this, it probably has too many rules, although perhaps a sovereign, anti-Vax person would be a better fit for whoever they usually use in The Bunker. Most other people are.
But back to who should miss out, there’s so many better ways to work this out. The main one I’m going for is what I’m going to call the Crushers Cup. This punishes the worst team at this year’s Magic Round. If anyone or team should be immortalised with below average/worst performances at Suncorp Stadium / Lang Park it is the South Queensland Crushers. One for their poor results, two for their terrible jersey, and three for their recruitment. Occasionally folk post old team lists on the socials and the Crushers is always a good one, full of players who are so hard to remember you have to double check they are right. My favourite will always be St John Ellis, which is pronounced Sinjin Ellis for those who can’t / refuse to remember.
So the team that loses by the biggest margin at this year’s Magic Round is the one that is to be excluded for next year, adding a little something to all the games, especially the later ones with hopefully some lop sided fixtures to increase the chances of each subsequent game becoming the “lucky loser”. <Checks notes> Oh, I see this year’s Magic Round ends with Penrith v Dragons. Perfect.
The “winner” of the Crushers Cup is actually the biggest loser, and should be presented with a trophy, handed to them by former Crushers greats/former players. Like Anthony but not Martin Bella, Brett Horsnell, Garrick Morgan, Nigel Gaffey, Mark Protheroe, Mark Tookey, Steele Retchless, Aaron Moule, or Sinjin Ellis.
Of course in the event of a tie breaker for worst margin, it then goes to points scored, penalties conceded, kicking metres, offloads, then post contact metres. If it is still even after that both teams have to offer up their mascot for a 100 metre post to post sprint.
Although my first preference is the Crushers Cup, I’d better offer other ways of being excluded from Magic Round for balance.
How about the team with the lowest Membership by the end of 2025 is the team excluded from Magic Round. The argument is with the lowest Membership is that no one will care if they are there or not. The only problem with that, although I don’t actually see it as a problem, is the same team might miss out every year. But I say if they can’t attract members they won’t attract Magic Round fans.
You could do something with fan voting, but that usually ends up with some ridiculous result, but it would be timely given that Eurovision is on soon, or this weekend. Not sure, Delta Goodrem is in, so I’m out.
Perhaps the NRL could use Eurovision, not for determining which team to leave out for next season, but for half time entertainment. With 20 minutes at half time, and additional time in between, there’s plenty of time to kill for rugby league fans. Sure they can go and get a sweet, sweet cup of luke warm beer, or pay the price of four bargain barrel bottles of cleanskin wine for one 150ml plastic cup of wine, but what about the people who don’t drink, who are there with family, or those who have taken enough drugs to enjoy the rugby league without beer.
So for NRL-o-Vision, each club has to supply a musical act from their current playing roster, and each club has to perform across all the half time and game/day breaks, with the winners chosen like Eurovision where they cross to the capital city of each country, for NRL-o-Vision they would cross to the Leagues Club of every team where the Club President or Treasurer would announce the points. Like Eurovision, the point scoring may not be talent related but be based on a century and more of grudge, or just spot battles of recent hate, which would make for grand viewing. The winner would sing live after the last game on Sunday during the Matty Johns Show, and feature Fletch and Hindy on stage as backup singers and dancers.
I can only start imagining who from which club and what song they could sing. But then I don’t need to, as I recall that they are doing something with mascots for Magic Round. As they should. Perhaps with all 17 mascots involved, they could have a Decathlon of challenges filling in all the half time and game breaks. With points awarded for each event. Tally them up and the team’s mascot with the lowest total is responsible for getting their team kicked out of the following year’s Magic Round. What an edge you are adding to one of sport’s greatest things – mascots doing stuff. It’s up there for sporting moments with a fight breaking out at a pre-fight press conference, an animal running onto a soccer field during a match and players falling over hopelessly trying to capture the animal, and in baseball where the manager walks onto the ground to sack the pitcher mid-game. Not nice for the pitcher, but upper entertaining for the fans. But I stress, none of that is better than mascots doing stuff.
One final idea for doing the Wheat/Chaff work for Magic Round is to not do the Magic Round draw until the week before the Magic Round, and whoever is last at the end of the weekend before Magic Round is out. Although 2026 isn’t a great example of this as St George Illawarra would have been nailed on miss out on Magic Round for the last month. But imagine if it is close down at the bottom of the ladder and each game could be important to who gets to go to Brisbane and not. Fans would have to take risks to whether their team would be playing. Although again, not a problem for 2026. Once the team has been excluded for Magic Round, the draw could take place on the Monday before Magic Round where teams and games are drawn, maybe in a boxing ring I the middle of Suncorp Stadium, which could double as a wrestling ring for all 17 mascots to put on a huge all-in Royal Rumble type event.
But for now none of the ideas will probably get through. So to ensure I don’t waste all my energy, my expert tips for NRL Magic Round 11 are ready below, with grains of salt available.
The NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Magic Round Expert Tips & Match Analysis
CRONULLA v BULLDOGS
I’m not sure if this is the dullest way possible to open Magic Round, but it certainly is the dullest way out of the eight games offered here. Although judging the demise of the Bulldogs seems to be a hobby for a lot of rugby league folk. Most of them from Fox League. Hard to choose who were more disappointing last weekend, hard to know who will be more disappointing this weekend.
Cronulla by 14
SOUTH SYDNEY v DOLPHINS
If these two teams play at their best we could see about 140 points in this game. What a treat it would be. They’ll probably have to do it without Latrell, the famous one for now, but that might mean Alex Johnston will score six tries. Of course we can only hope that Ray Stone can get one. He’d hate it.
Dolphins by 2
WESTS TIGERS v MANLY
The Fozball revolution continues as Manly beat everyone except Penrith. They’ll probably do it again this weekend as the Tigers revert to previous in being duded by refs.
Manly by 10
ROOSTERS v NORTH QUEENSLAND
Roosters are looking the goods, while I presume the Cowboys are looking around for a new coach given they lost a game.
Roosters by 14
PARRAMATTA v MELBOURNE
Hopefully Melbourne getting back into Winner’s Circle doesn’t mean there are at least eight moments that annoy Craig Bellamy during the game, and that the camera pans to the coach’s box immediately. Which is one my rugby league treats. Parramatta could probably do without playing the Storm for Magic Round, as they have been flogged twice. But at least they won in Queensland last weekend.
Melbourne by 6
GOLD COAST v NEWCASTLE
Newcastle continue to surprise and delight in 2026, while the Gold Coast trying hard but getting dudded and losing is no surprise.
Newcastle by 10
WARRIORS v BRISBANE
The game of choice for the Sunday Magic Round, and it should be loud with loads of Wahs support and Wahs empathy. Brisbane have hit a wall with all their bad luck with injuries and suspensions, while the Warriors are in form and had the bye last weekend.
Warriors by 8
PENRITH v DRAGONS
Doesn’t get much worse for the awful, winless, hapless Dragons. Playing Penrith is bad enough on current form, both theirs and their Penrith’s, but they have also never won at Magic Round. Specials for the Crushers Cup. Penrith could get on the drink Saturday night and still win on Sunday. s
Penrith by 50
READ MORE: THE GURGLER’S FULL NRL 2026 GEAR
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