Trevor is just your typical modern-day Baby Boomer. He watches Sky News every night, reads his News Ltd paper, enjoys cups O’ tea and loves to combine them all into tirades against any other generation and their lack of ability to afford anything because they waste all their money. What he doesn’t love, is wasting his own money. Especially on Air Conditioning.
Be it in the car on the 34th day of over 30 degrees or in the new massive house that Superannuation built, Trevor hates putting on the Air-Con.
It doesn’t matter if 50 seconds into the car trip that sweat is flowing down the leg like a dam release, or that the body feels like it is slowly being cooked, it is still not hot enough for Air Con.
Of course it all relates to the back-in-the-day stories of barefoot two-mile walks to school, or being forced to play outside from dawn to dusk with just a car tyre, a football and a few sticks. Everything was hard, so a little bit of heat is no problem.
“I don’t know people are complaining about” Trevor remarked as he invited us in for a steaming hot Cup of Tea. “Young people have gotten weak these days with the constant need for Air Con”.
After remarking to Trevor that the temperature had passed e9 degrees and was officially the hottest day of the last 12 months he kindly suggested we take our Cups of Tea outside as “There’s always a good breeze outside, and it’s free”.
After looking at our watch and seeing 1:20pm, close to the hottest time of the day and hours before any evidence of a sea breeze would kick in, we realised we had to be polite and stick it out. The emphasis on sticking as our legs were slowly welding into the chair – a White Metai table and chair set – as was the clothing sticking to the skin.
Despite the scorching temperature, the Cup of Tea was made extremely hot, making a quick exit difficult as it meant smashing a 95 degree liquid in temperatures that felt over half as bad, and finding some excuse to leave quickly.
Trevor pointed out the non existent breeze on several occasions, in between opinions on what’s wrong with the political party that News Ltd don’t like, and tax breaks and franking credits. When we interrupted to ask why not put the fan on at least, if not the Air Con, Trevor replied like we were stupid, “Why would I do that now, with all the sweat I’d end up cold in a second”.
Talking of sweat, I may have well pissed my pants as the amount of sweat in my underpants made it hard to tell if I had or not. As it stood, I considered pissing myself anyway.
But thankfully after 20 minutes of soaking up the humidity the Tea had cooled from Chernobyl Reactor 4 to drinkable and we were able to smash down the drink and make for the exit.
We thanked Trevor for his time, apologised for the wet footprints across the floor, and climbed into our recently purchased Tesla, turning the Air Con up to 11 and setting the temperature to 15.
Trevor waved us off holding his special sets of keys he had kept from his favourite car from back in the day. That car was perfect, no Air Con, ran for weeks on a tank of petrol, and just an AM radio. The keys were perfect too. Perfect for keying the f–k out of the next Tesla he sees at the local Shopping Centre..
“Stuff those w-nkers, and f–k their w-nker cars” he snarled to himself as he prepared to head to the local Shopping Centre.
