It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times, and now the Wooden Spooners have returned to cast their eye over the latest weekend of rugby league that was with the NRL Round 19 Results & Headlines.
Going beyond the scores, the NRL Round 19 Results & Headlines gives the extra insight in the NRL that only the Wooden Spooners can.
All reports are unconfirmed and please contact our Legal team or Buzz Rothfield aka Hans Moleman for complaints.
NRL ROUND 19 RESULTS HEADLINES
BUNKER TO FACTOR IN WIND SPEEDS AND CROWD NOISE FOR OBSTRUCTION CALLS FOR FUTURE GAMES AFTER PARRA v BRISBANE CLASH TO ENSURE IT RUINS MORE TRIES
In a prelude to a weekend conversation dominated by The Bunker, there was a try disallowed in the Parramatta-Broncos game on Thursday night that has to be one of the weakest excuses to disallow a try in the last weeks.
To ensure The Bunker alienates as many blue collar league fans as possible they intend to include wind factor, wind speed, humidity and crowd noise as factors that may be given for disallowing a try in future rounds of the NRL.
F—K THE NRL MUST REALLY HATE THE WESTS TIGERS
The biggest talking point of the NRL Round 19 weekend was the ending to the Cowboys v Tigers game where they were robbed, no other way of putting it.
The only other conclusion you can draw from that and Graham Annesley’s comments on Monday was that the NRL hate the Tigers.
How else could you explain that clusterf—k, except we guess pure incompetence, which can’t be ruled out.
Maybe Fox League and James Hopper were involved also given how much they appear to hate the Tigers.
ASHLEY KLOWN NAME GAINING SPEED
One thing for sure is that Ashley Klein is never a good thing. And he was at the heart of another episode of underwhelming officiating.
One Wests Tigers fan has started using the hashtag #AshleyKlown with every rant about the Tigers since Sunday’s loss.
It has caught on with at least 6 likes and 3 retweets, which is at least double the usual tally of love the fan receives.
NRL TO INVESTIGATE VARIOUS NEW SOUNDS TO ALERT OF SOFT FULL TIME WHISTLE
One final thing to come out of the Cowboys v Tigers controversy was the revelation that there is actually two whistles to end a game.
To avoid future confusion the NRL are exploring options to differentiate these better in the future.
One includes bring out respected Premier League referee Howard Webb to demonstrate an English football variation of the pea blowing.
Another involves a slide whistle, which is far less professional but funny.
The final suggestion is that the current referee’s whistle remains as the soft full time signal and that every ground has a cannon installed, which is lit after comms between the referee, touchline officials, the Bunker, and a neutral Doctor in the crowd give the okay to officially end the game.
MELBOURNE LOCALS REACTION TO THE STORM’S FOURTH LOSS IN A ROW
The Wooden Spooners have an exclusive on the fallout of Melbourne’s fourth straight loss.
YOU KNOW THE STORM ARE STRUGGLING WHEN SOUTH SYDNEY BEAT THEM
Heading into the Round 19 clash South Sydney against Melbourne was the most lop-sided clash in the modern day NRL competition.
While that remains the same despite Souths’ win on Saturday night, it is a fair indication that the Storm are really struggling if they can’t beat the Rabbitohs.
It was the first win in eight for Souths over Melbourne, the first win against the Storm on a Saturday since 2010, and the first time they had beaten Melbourne in July.
LOCAL VICTORIAN WEATHER FORECASTERS PREDICT LOCALISED GALE FORCE WINS AROUND AAMI PARK THIS WEEK
After Melbourne Storm suffered their fourth straight loss for the first time in many years, local weather forecasters, who really know their rugby, have jokingly forecasted there is going to be localised severe wind gusts and heavy showers expected at AAMI Park for training this week.
Sadly, the Wooden Spooners can confirm that none of the forecasters friends from Melbourne knew who the Storm were, nor gave a shit that they had lost any in a row, in another attempt to make the same joke as a headline above.
Good news is that the real Melbourne Storm fans with a sense of humour from interstate warmly received the tongue in cheek tweets.
JOSH ADDO-CARR CALLS 1800-UP-YOURS-FREDDIE
The Try July celebrations have been a welcome inclusion to the NRL this month, with some amateur acting.
Although not one of the most creative performances, Josh Addo-Carr’s telephone was still a goodun’.
Eagle-eyed Wooden Spooners contacts at the ground can confirm that Addo-Carr actually dialed the numbers that spelled out 1-800-UP-YOURS-FREDDY.
We presume that is aimed at NSW Coach Brad Fittler or a friend called Fred who owes him money.
WARRIORS TAKE OVER THE JOHNSON & JOHNSON TROPHY FOR TEAM THAT BLOWS THE MOST HALF TIME LEADS
A rare chunk of interesting stats from the weekend of listening to the NRL on the radio was the Warriors are now leading the NRL all time record for blowing half time leads of 12 points or more.
This means the Johnson & Johnson Trophy for team who powders the most will be taken back across the Tasman this weekend. Although, the Warriors have tentatively pencilled in returning it to the Raiders before the season is out.
They are also in the running for Sour Grapes of the Season award over Reece Walsh. Although it will be hard to wrestle this trophy away from post Origin Andrew Johns.
DANE GAGAI & BRANDON SMITH AVAILABLE FOR KIDS PARTIES AND R-RATED PODCAST
Coming soon to the Wooden Spooners – Brandon Smith and Dane Gagai “The Entertainers”. The duo, who have been recently sin binned for abusing referees are offering their services for kids parties and have the intention of adding yet another rugby league podcast to the buffer. They promise it will be blue. Which is ironic given one player is from Queensland and the other plays for New Zealand.
ADAM REYNOLDS MAKES THE BRONCOS 50% LESS HATEABLE
The Wooden Spooners spent Sunday scouring South Bank to as non Broncos fans about how they felt about the Brisbane based team in 2022.
After spending most of the day at the pub, and nearly forgetting to do the task they weren’t being paid for, they managed to stumble into two gentlemen in NRL team gear from another club.
Upon being asked the question Are the Broncos less hateable with Adam Reynolds, Steve answered “sort of” and his mate Geoff asked us politely to f—k off.
SOCIALS OF THE WEEK
Our NRL Social of the Week is from a Simpsons Related NRL Memes Facebook Page like it always is these days which is a must for those who love NRL, Simpsons and a laugh.
Twp this week took our fancy. Whatever a fancy is.
THE SHANE FLANAGAN NEW COACHING GIG-O-METER
With Shane Flanagan in the commentary box for Fox League in 2022, we can continue to expect subtle digs at teams who are struggling and that he can see a possible way in for.
So each week as part of the Wooden Spooner’s NRL Headlines, we’ll bring you the New Coaching Gig-O-Meter. This features which teams are hot for a new coach, or a team that was and is going cool.
With the news that the Wests Tigers are going back to the future with Tim Sheens and Benji Marshall, this means the year-long campaign to shove Shane Flanagan in as the Tigers coach is over.
Flanagan is running out of clubs, but that won’t stop the Fox League machine.
Last week it was a Dragon, this week it is a Knight.
After the Dragons were the side Fox League were bashing on behalf of their mate Shane Flanagan, the Red V put in a big performance to beat Manly.
So the Fox League have reportedly set their sights on Newcastle.
Artists impression of Shane Flanagan changing from The House of Dragon to a Knight below.
