It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times, and now the Wooden Spooners have returned to cast their eye over the latest weekend of rugby league that was with the NRL Round 15 Results & Headlines.
Going beyond the scores, the NRL Round 15 Results & Headlines gives the extra insight in the NRL that only the Wooden Spooners can.
All reports are unconfirmed and please contact our Legal team or Buzz Rothfield aka Hans Moleman for complaints.
SOUTHS FANS COMPARE THE RABBITOHS FIRST HALF V DRAGONS AS WORSE THAN OWNER RUSSELL CROWE’S A GOOD YEAR MOVIE
Long time Rabbitohs supporter Cliff Clifferson (fake name) was watching his beloved Rabbitohs on Thursday night from his local watering hole with his fellow Bunnies supporters and they were horrified with what they saw.
As the half time break neared, the Wooden Spooners team wandered over to their table to lend an ear.
“That’s the worst half of football in the Russell Crowe era. Dead set, it was vintage early 2000’s dross when we all wondered why we marched to get them back in.”
When we challenged to think of a Russell Crowe analogy Cliff thought about it and offered up one possibility.
“It was as bad as Rusty’s movie A Good Year. You know, the one with Meg Ryan. Truly awful. Like Souths.”
The table all abandoned their viewing before the half time break, looking to avoid reliving the nightmare and Cooper Cronk’s painful over-analysis, preferring to play Pokies for two hours before getting the courtesy bus home.
MANLY FAN SLEEPING OFF TOO MANY POST WORK FRIDAY ARVO DRINKS WONDERS WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED
Nigel Steamer (fake name) was doing his mandatory one day in the office last Friday, and like most Fridays the workday was full of meetings and a lunch time exit to the pub for a few. But this week instead of pretending to go back and move the mouse enough to register a green light in Microsoft Teams the gang settled in and went for it.
With a standard drink count that would have seem them in a reserve grade jersey back in the 80’s, they finished off with just enough time to get home and watch the Sea Eagles. All of the staff from the Warringah business were Manly fans.
Nigel was well pleased with what he was seeing going into the last ten minutes of Friday’s game, so he allowed himself a little rest of the eyes.
Meanwhile the Cowboys scored three tries in four minutes to steal the game and break the hearts of Manly fans.
Many hours later Nigel Steamer woke up to the post Storm-Broncos analysis and checked his Twitter account which was full of jibes from his non-Manly fans and loads of swearing from his still awake work mates.
FOX LEAGUE CONSIDERING NEW RED BUTTON OPTIONS INCLUDING CRAIG-CAM, MUTING REFEREES MIC, MUTING ENNIS COMMENTARY
Rumours swirl that Fox League are considering trialing some new broadcast options during the Origin period, to try and boost interest in the competition while the NRL turns its full attention to State of Origin.
Aside from regular articles trying to land Shane Flanagan a job, Fox League had a think-tank and a Blue-Sky session and the Wooden Spooners have an exclusive sneak peek into some new options that will be available on trial in July.
- Craig-Cam – one camera focused on Melbourne Coach Craig Bellamy with the mic turned up. Viewers will have to be 18+ with a warning of language and rage.
- Offside Referee – choose an audio feed that eliminates any noise from the referee during broadcasts.
- No Menace Ennis – Michael Ennis adds great insights into rugby league with his commentary, but not everyone is a fan. So this option will see Michael Ennis’ commentary replaced with a Rodney Rude laugh track. Rumours of Shane Flanagan’s commentary being replaced by an Eeyore impression voiceover couldn’t be confirmed.
COFFS HARBOUR LEAGUE FANS ASKS NRL FOR NEW TEAMS AS NRL FAILS TO BE BETTER HAN GROUP TWO ACTION
Coffs Harbour got their annual game of NRL on Saturday and the clash between the Sharks and Titans wasn’t much of a spectacle. In fact, according to some locals, it was the worst game they’d seen all season, including all the home games in the Group Two competition.
One local remarked to the Wooden Spooners as we waited for taxi back to the local pub.
“We wait all year for this game, and it was terrible. Complete dross. Especially that second half.”
“Can’t we get Penrith here next season. Even if the game is sh!t at least we get to watch one good side.”
He added “I think the Sharks might go OK in Group Two, but the Titans might struggle.”
SO IT’S NOT ALL MICHAEL MAGUIRE’S FAULT AFTER ALL
Michael Maguire was sacked/left by mutual consent with best wishes by the Wests Tigers, but unlike English football or the Bulldogs there has been no new coach bounce.
In fact, their loss to the Bulldogs was one of their poorer efforts in a 2022 season where they haven’t been as bad as they have been made out by certain Fox League identities trying to get jobs for their mates.
Wests Tigers fans will have every right to be super pissed if Maguire is given the arse for anyone other than Cameron Ciraldo in 2023. Perhaps CEO Justin Pascoe will change his car and number plates. Or quit.
SO IT WAS TRENT BARRETT’S FAULT AFTER ALL
The Bulldogs have now won two in a row and have suddenly become point scoring machines. Given they have averaged 26.8 points per game under Michael Potter, 16 points under Phil Gould in his one game in charge, and 8.9 points under Trent Barrett it’s safe to say that it’s all Trent Barrett’s fault.
Or it’s all Gus’ good work. Depends on the channel.
RYAN MATTERSON DIALS A DOLPHIN AND WINS
Rugby League gun for hire Ryan Matterson has been impressive in 2022, which has seen him selected and scape-goated for NSW for Origin Game One.
So it was no surprise then with Matterson’s value sky-high that he wanted to shop himself around for his next NRL contract.
Of course like any player on the market for 2023 and beyond, the shrewd Eels forward Dialled-A-Dolphin.
If you aren’t aware of the Dial-A-Dolphin service it is a free NRL Recruitment Service designed to get NRL players a better deal for the next phase of their career.
READ MORE – Dial-A-Dolphin
Ryan Matterson got the contract he wanted at Parramatta all along, courtesy of Dial-A-Dolphin.
REDCLIFFE LOOKING WELL CAPABLE OF HOSTING NRL GAMES, PITY THE DOLPHINS WILL ONLY PLAY TWO THERE IN 2023
The New Zealand Warriors finished their stint as the house band for Redcliffe on Saturday, and while the result didn’t go the way they wanted, it was a glorious stint for the bayside.
Having seen so much NRL action in 2021 and 2022 it’s a shame the Dolphins aka Redcliffe Dolphins will play just two games there next season.
Of course it was always known the 17th team would have to play mostly out of Suncorp. But let’s hope the club and NRL stick by the bayside for at least the two games next season.
SOCIALS OF THE WEEK
Our NRL Social of the Week is from a Simpsons Related NRL Memes Facebook Page like it always is these days which is a must for those who love NRL, Simpsons and a laugh.
THE SHANE FLANAGAN NEW COACHING GIG-O-METER
With Shane Flanagan in the commentary box for Fox League in 2022, we can continue to expect subtle digs at teams who are struggling and that he can see a possible way in for.
So each week as part of the Wooden Spooner’s NRL Headlines, we’ll bring you the New Coaching Gig-O-Meter. This features which teams are hot for a new coach, or a team that was and is going cool.
With so many coaches gone or teams in poor form, the Coaching Gig-O-Meter is going off the charts.
Or refer to the Fox Sports website where the weekly white-ant article for NRL coaches is being brewed.
