You may have seen the Logies last night, if you were lucky you didn’t. You would have missed an entire evening of being the third wheel ay a convention of in jokes that always seemed funnier to the people themselves than anyone watching. Except for some of the excruciating banter between various presenters who couldn’t even muster a sympathy cough out of the jokes and conversation that looked as natural as an arranged first date between cousins.
These events do throw up one of the Gurgler’s favourite sights on TV, the brave look on the losing people’s faces when they clap on the winner.
But you get what you deserve, and if The Gurgler has problems with the Logies we just shouldn’t watched it. Thankfully we didn’t watch all, especially one of the worst things on TV ever – the Red Carpet, “What/Who are you wearing?”. It can be presumed it involved Richard Wilkins so that’s why it’s best avoided.
And so to the winners, whoever they are. It’s usually a bunch of Home and Away acting staff we’ve never heard of, and shows so predictably predictable it takes the fun out of the ceremony.
So, in the tradition of The Gurgler and all we stand for, have a bunch of alternative awards.
SILVER LOGIES FOR BEST ACTOR
STEFAN DENNIS – surely someone playing the same arsehole for so many years deserves a little sugar for his efforts.
SILVER LOGIE FOR BEST ACTRESS
NEW GIRL from Coles Ads – no one is or should be that excited about Freezer products. How she maintains that enthusiasm for such mundane items is award worthy.
BEST NEW TALENT
CLIVE PALMER for his extensive walk outs from most TV interviews.
BEST LIGHT ENTERTAINMENT
THE CHECKOUT – Chaser style information with good humour and without a great deal of the usual high horse.
BEST COMEDY
MICALLEF’S MAD AS HELL – rarely a miss with Micallef involved in anything. Danger 5 was a close second. Crazy, crazy show.
BEST REALITY TV
Apart from none – we go for the Sky Weather Channel that’s puts the real in reality.
BEST LIFESTYLE SHOW
BOGAN HUNTERS – anyone wanting to improve their lifestyle should take a look at how the other side lives and be thankful for what they’ve got.
BEST CHILDRENS SHOW
The entire of ABC KIDS from early morning to 7pm. Quality alternative to parenting.
BEST SPORTS SHOW
SANTO, SAM and ED’s TOTAL FOOTBALL – The perfect mix of humour and serious sports chat. The NRL Footy Show still wins award, but that still doesn’t make it watchable.
BEST SPORTS COVERAGE.
Funny, out of the nominations for best sports event coverage there are none for Channel 9, despite having some of the premium sporting events of the past year – State of Origin, NRL Grand Final win to South Sydney, Cricket World Cup, Test Series v India.
One wonders if the sheer arrogance, unapologetic bias, and self indulgent tripe of Channel 9’s sporting coverage has caught up with them. But don’t dare to question then or big bad Brad McNamara will come and get you. Or if you’re rich enough you may get the personal touch of a punch and wrestle fest on the street.
In the end, it’s the only award winner we agree with, the World Cup coverage SBS provided was outstanding and deserved its accolade.
HALL OF FAME
IAN TURPIE – like a lot of these it goes to a person posthumously but no less deserved. Part of the golden age of entertainers who could act, dance and sing, Turpie’s best work came from the 1980’s onwards.
The first host of Price is Right and Supermarket Sweep. He also fronted the long forgotten, but certainly remembered by The Gurgler – Press Your Luck. You know, Big Bucks, Big Bucks, Big Bucks, Stop, (Cue Cartoon Whammie Water Skiing and crashing).
Whilst is work with Roy and HG was also outstanding, his best work came as the stressed out, under pressure manager of the Swift and Shift Couriers depot. Some of the finest comedic acting of all time.
Plenty to like, and quite deserving of the Hall of Fame award.
Unlike this article, which has not much to like.