It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times, and now the Wooden Spooners have returned to cast their eye over the latest weekend of rugby league that was with the NRL Round 24 Results & Headlines.
Going beyond the scores, the NRL Round 24 Results & Headlines gives the extra insight in the NRL that only the Wooden Spooners can.
All reports are unconfirmed and most are completely made up, but we’ll let you decide which ones are. Any issues please contact L. Hutz or our Legal team, and for any coaching vacancies please contact the Fox League team.
NRL ROUND 24 RESULTS HEADLINES
QUEENSLAND RAIL CONSIDERING SCHEDULING EARLIER TRAINS FOR FUTURE BRONCOS MATCHES
The Broncos looked an outside chance of the top four a month or so ago, but their recent form has been so woeful that they now sit outside the top eight with a round to go.
Their last two home games at Suncorp Stadium has seen the Broncos give up 113 points, and two games prior to that made the wooden spooners Wests Tigers look like Premiership material.
Problem is that fans are leaving earlier and earlier, causing issues with the local transport network.
With Milton Station a short, convenient stroll from the ground, catching a train to the game is a great option. The issue has been lately that the timetable has only allowed for fans leaving after the 80th minute. This has led to dangerous over-crowding at all platforms at Milton Station.
A spokesperson for Queensland Rail admitted to the Wooden Spooners that “we’re definitely gonna have to put on extra services from the 20 minutes before the game finishes and trains every five minutes from there for 2023. And I guess we’ll have to ensure we have a good coverage of staff for evening shifts, Fridays especially.
TWO GENUINE FINALS TEAMS PLAY OUT TENSE PRE-FINALS MATCH AS VICTORIAN AUDIENCES OPT FOR COSTA
A few strange but true stories from the weekend involving rugby in Victoria.
First of all the Friday night game was actually on Channel Nein. SEcondly, it wasn’t the Broncos.
With the Melbourne Storm not in the Grand Final yet, local Victorians are yet to give too much of a shit about rugby.
But despite no actual on field action in the AFL due to their bye week before the finals, Gardening Australia attracted 150% more viewers than the AAMI Park grudge match. Just to double down on the hit to rugby following in Victoria, Channel Ten’s The Living Room also out-rated the Storm rugby match.
Nothing against Costa, who is awesome, but perhaps Channel Nein could introduce a little ficus on the playing surface to attract Victorian viewers in the future.
NOT EVEN SHAQ CAN BE SPARED FROM THE SELF INDULGENT BARRAGE OF IN-JOKES THAT IS MATTY JOHNS AND FOX LEAGUE
Shaquille O’Neal has done the rounds while in Australia, meeting no less than the Prime Minister.
He also did quite a few TV spots, one being an interview with Fox League’s Matty Johns alongside an AFL great.
Of course being Matty Johns and Fox League, it didn’t take long for the in-jokes and self indulgence to take over, with multiple references to Matty Johns fellow co-hosts as if they are the only people who have ever been involved in rugby league.
An unnamed Fox League produced confirmed “we’re just giving the fans what they want. Constant talk, jokes and highlights from the careers of Johns, Hindy, Fletch and Gordie. It’s easy to plan anyway. It’s what made Channel Nein cricket coverage so popular.”
FOX LEAGUE WRITERS AND STAFF CELEBRATE WESTS TIGERS WOODEN SPOON
After the Wests Tigers somehow managed to snatch defeat from the hands of victory of Sunday, a loud roar could be heard from the Fox League writers area of the office in North Ryde.
After death riding them all season long, with a constant barrage of articles and TV panel discussion, mostly to try and land fellow “commentator” Shane Flanagan the gig, the Fox League writers celebrated being fully content at achieving their 2022 KPI of smashing a team until they finish last.
The only worry for 2023 is with the likeable Tim Sheens and Benji Marshall making up the coaching line up for next year, Fox League writers are going to have to use the off season to work out which club they are going to smash every two days.
Probably the Knights or Wests Tigers.
ANTHONY ALBANESE SHOWS HE IS THE TRUE RUGBY LEAGUE PRIME MINISTER
Despite his love for being seen at a Sharks game with a Sharks hat, a Sharks scarf, and one of the world’s most punchable smirks, Scott Morrison was never a true rugby league Prime Minister. Bob Hawke was, and Anthony Albanese is.
First of all he is looking to rubber stamp a change in Covid isolation period from seven days that is going to transform rugby league Covid cases to ensure players can make a five day turnaround. Reports that this is happening quicker than expected because a key Souths player would not be available for a key game in the final week of the season against their main rivals is pure coincidence.
But those that accuse him of Rabbitohs bias can’t deny his true rugby league beliefs, as he ensured the PNG Hunters first game in three years in PNG went ahead last weekend.
Visiting side Mackay Cutters had originally planned to pull out of the game, and were subsequently threatened with expulsion from the 2023 Qld Cup comp by the QRL. But step in Anthony Albanese with a fresh detail of security to keep the Cutters safe, and give 10,000 and more local fans some reasons to cheers.
“Albo” knows the key to Pacific relations is rugby league. Unlike Scomo who was too being being seen at a Sharks game.
The Hunters won too, with a last minute try. Joy.
WOODEN SPOONERS UNFAIR QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Q: Do the Wests Tigers really deserve the Wooden Spoon?
A: Yes. And f–k Shane Flanagan and Hoops.
SOCIALS OF THE WEEK
Our NRL Social of the Week is from a Simpsons Related NRL Memes Facebook Page like it always is these days which is a must for those who love NRL, Simpsons and a laugh.
The other Social of the Week comes from an unconfirmed source, but is still funny.
