Disappointed by the absolute road served up in the first Test between Pakistan and Australia, a cricket fan has reignited his love of reading classic novels.
“I was planning to spend each night after work with a few drinks and vegging out to the cricket, but the run-feast is so f***** boring that I picked up book instead,” said Steven.
Starting with Moby Dick, Steven has ripped through a number of classics since Friday night, including The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, The Three Musketeers, The Count of Monte Cristo and Frankenstein.
“The missus teaches classic literature at the local uni, so she’s got a lot of these old books lying around. I used to think it was artsy-fartsy crap, but they’re actually quite good. I’m still enjoying a few drinks, but I’m reading now rather than watching the cricket.”
While Steven started with the cricket on but the sound turned down, he soon became so immersed in these books that he stopped watching the cricket alltogether.
“I’m not even going to bother watching the rest of the Test series. The missus and I are going to the local second hand bookshop this weekend to stock up on some more classics.”
Steven’s ‘missus’ (Sarah) is happy that her husband’s found a new interest in classic novels over cricket.
“I was dreading having to put up with the cricket for the next few weeks, but now Steven and I are having fascinating discussions about his favourite books. I haven’t been this mentally stimulated since we first started dating,” said Sarah. “Steven said he probably won’t watch cricket again until November, which I’m thrilled with. I have him to myself for a few more months inbetween NRL games, but at least they’re only a couple of hours instead of six. I’m going to send whoever makes the Pakistan pitches a big bunch of flowers to say thank you.”
Everyday News is a brand new general news/parody section of The Gurgler, and definitely not a lame rip-off of ‘The Betoota Advocate’. We swear.
