It was one of the biggest night for Australian Tennis ever, with Ash Barty breaking a long drought of home grown winners, and an all Australian Men’s doubles final. Casual sports fan Steeden McNeil (fake name) caught both games, not that he’s usually into tennis all that much.
While he genuinely excited for Ash Barty, the all-Australian men’s ended up being a little too much for him.
“That was just way too much Kok for me”.
When questioned about the Kok reference, Steeden remarked “one by name, one by nature.”
“I mean it’s entertaining enough up to a point – for Tennis – then Kyrgios just takes it way too far.”
“All week my friends have been posting on their socials about how great and entertaining Nick Kyrgios has been. And how he has ignited their love of doubles tennis for the first time since The Woodies gave up playing.”
“I just remember him as a bit of a jerk. Well, a lot of a jerk really.”
“But he’s an Aussie and a winner, so I gave him a go on Saturday night. Well I was giving Double tennis a go too, as Doubles is usually the Harness Racing of Tennis so I haven’t seen much. Ever really.”
“Even when The Woodies were big I didn’t care. There was just something so cardboard about the pair. And it always just felt like it was a token effort to cheer their success as our singles were not winning at the time with the Frombergs, Kratzmanns, Stoltenberg and Stollies. The player not the drink.”
“So when the Koks won I was happy enough for them. Not happy enough to actually watch the second set as I was re-watching the Chernobyl mini series on Foxtel, but I did check the scores twice on the Fox Sports website.”
“Thankfully I read the next morning that he had turned the arrogance up to 11, and he had made a few old Kyrgios type comments about this and that, and doubled down on social media later and something just seemed right in the world. Nick Kyrgios was back to being just a bit of a jerk again. And I can go back to slightly disliking once more.”
Everyday News is a brand new general news/parody section of The Gurgler, and definitely not a lame rip-off of ‘The Betoota Advocate’. We swear.
