If you want to get a footy fans arguing, then start discussing the next NRL expansion teams: while the serious contenders are the Brisbane Bombers/Brisbane Fire-whatevers (Easts Tigers) and Perth/West Coast Pirates, we thought we’d throw out some unlikely/ridiculous expansion scenarios.
Tasmania
While Tasmania is Aussie Rules heartland, the AFL pretends that Tassie doesn’t exist (aside from a few token games), so they’d probably welcome some real footy (AFL fans, send your complaints and letter bombs to c/o 123 Fake Street, Somwhere in Australia).
Adelaide and Perth were both short-lived excursions into AFL-land (thanks, Super League war!), so why not have another crack with a fresh team and fresh territory?
Northern Territory
Another “why would you bother” excursion into AFL-land. Though this one has more legs, as the NRL has played a few games in Darwin – including an Aussie quarter final in the 2017 Rugby League World Cup.
If nothing else, Darwin would be almost unbeatable at home as other teams wilt in the heat and humidity (hello, Canberra Raiders…). Plus the Darwin team could have a cool, marketable-to-kids nickname, like the Thunder, the Heat, the Hurricanes, or any other weather-based pun.
Victoria
While our Victorian friends care less about “rugby” than their precious aerial ping pong (see above for the address for complaints…), the Storm – with their raft of Queenslanders and supercoach Craig Bellamy – have been arguably the most consistent team in the NRL era, only missing the finals in 2001, 2002, and 2010 (though they would’ve finished in the top eight if they’d been allowed to earn any points), so maybe it’s time to give them some competition?
Another waste of time you say? Well, if the AFL can have two teams each in the “rugby” strongholds of NSW and QLD, why can’t the NRL have another Victorian team? You could put them in direct competition with the Storm or even base them in Geelong for a lark.
South Queensland Crushers/Central Coast Bears
These are for the old-school romantics.
The Crushers were every Bronco-hating Queenslander’s favourite team in the mid-90s: Mario Fenech invented “The Falcon” during his time there, and the theme song was pretty catchy. Sadly, the Super League war and an arrogant Broncos at their peak killed the Crushers, so why not give them another shot? The Broncos are vulnerable now, so bring the Crushers back to Lang Park and watch all the old Aztec, gold, navy blue & red jerseys come out of the mothballs. Channel Nein will hate it, but so what? With the million affordable streaming services available, commercial TV is all but obsolete now.
The Central Coast Bears have been hanging out for a while, but, partly due to the crush of NSW teams, they’ve never gotten off the ground. Maybe it’s time to bring the back?
Cut a couple of the weaker Sydney teams to make room, sign their best players to the Bears, split home games between Gosford and North Sydney Oval, and watch the old Bears fans flock back to the footy.
Adelaide
Four words: bring back the Rams!
New Zealand
While rugby union dominates New Zealand, the Warriors have done ok in 25-plus years, making two grand finals, and the Kiwis usually give the Aussies a fierce battle in Tests and the world cups.
New Zealand has been mentioned as a genuine expansion point, with Wellington the likely venue. Seeing how the Warriors literately saved the NRL 2020 season, maybe it’s time to reward our Kiwi footy fans with a second team?
A Pacific Islands Team
This one could actually work: the Pacific Islands are one of the heartlands of rugby league, the Pacific mid-season Tests are always fun to watch (as well as in the world cups), the PNG Hunters have done well in the QLD Cup, and there’s the MASSIVE Pacific Island representation in both the NRL and grass roots footy.
So, why not have an actual Pacific team in the NRL? The logistics may be a bit nightmarish, as you’d have to split home games between Tonga, Samoa, Fiji, and PNG, but you could do it like Super Rugby: the Pacific team has two to three weeks at home (spread across various venues) playing the Aussie teams; then they can have mini-tours to Australia in return. The Pacific fans would lap it up and the atmosphere at Pacific home games would be ridiculous.
United States of America
Ok, this one’s a stretch, but how good would it be if the NRL broke into North America? The USA have played in the last two world cups, and the 2019 Nines World Cup. Having teams travel to and from the USA would be a logistical nightmare, but rugby league is sort of similar to American Football, so the yanks may enjoy it given the chance. It’ll be more fun than watching baseball (hate mail yada yada yada…)
An Indigenous Team
We all know how much the Indigenous NRL players love playing for the All Stars team, so why not give an proper Indigenous team a crack in the NRL? The only issue is this could dilute the other 16 NRL clubs (and force some players to choose between club and heritage), and finding somewhere to play their homes games, but how good would it be to see a proper Indigenous team play week-in-week-out?
