So the NRL have no Grand Final entertainment after the NRL cancelled plans to have non-Jimmy Barnes music in Tones & I perform at this year’s big night. This leaves the NRL with no pre-match entertainment, which given the non-Jimmy Barnes history is pretty sketchy may not be a loss at all. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t look into something potentially better, and something that works for all rugby league fans. So our Wooden Spooners sports satire team has come up with a bunch of 2026 NRL Grand Final Entertainment Alternatives.
Our preference would be to have no entertainment, because you look at the standard being set by the AFL and wonder why the NRL bothers. But maybe having underwhelming/bad entertainment is better than no pre-match entertainment. The game is on Channel Nein after all, and they already struggle to match the quality of others in terms of pre-match banter and will struggle to add 15 more minutes of dross to their coverage. Ads might just be better.
But let’s not give up, and sample some of the 2026 NRL Grand Final Entertainment Alternatives below.
2026 NRL Grand Final Entertainment Alternatives
STONES & I
Rugby league’s hardest man knows how to win over a rugby league audience, and our first alternative is the Dolphins warrior donning his karate outfit and kicking the piss out of NRL mascots to the music of AC/DC’s Thunderstruck. Noted: he could well be playing in the Grand Final, but we’re sure Ray would still be available. It would beat scoring a try.
JIMMY BARNES HOLOGRAMS
If Jimmy Barnes isn’t available, and he should be every second year in a binding contract according to us, and AI technology is so good these days, as highlighted in these excellent pictures, why not have a bunch of various Jimmy Barnes holograms screaming out the Chisel hits. And won’t the crowd love it.
CHISELED
If the Jimmy Barnes holograms aren’t enough, let’s throw in some Ian Moss ones too and go full Bow River and beyond. They don’t need the score.
WILD THING
Cold Chisel – Wild Thing (Last Stand)
Although, holograms are expensive, so why not just put Cold Chisel’s Wild Thing from their 1983 Last Stand concert series on the big screens and give fans a solid nine minutes of Chisel’s finest and give the money that would have been spent on junior rugby league.
THE ALL STAR NRL SUPER HOLOGRAM BAND
If the Jimmy Barnes and Ian Moss holograms aren’t enough, we’ve upped the anti and cranked it up to 11 to cover more Australian music legends and music styles to keep everyone happy.
VIVA LAS FAIRWAY
Of course The Gurgler website would include Greg Norman in some way, and why not, the man is a winner and knows how to entertain.
MONSTER TRUCKS
Overlooking the damage that could, and probably would be done to the ground just minutes before the most important game of the season, show me a rugby league fan who doesn’t like Monster Trucks. Better still, deck them out in club colours, have the mascots drive them, and race them for everyone’s amusement.
MONSTER TRUCKS MAYHEM
The above Monster Trucks weren’t quite as chaotic as a rugby league fan needs and wants.
MASCOT ROYAL RUMBLE
Would there be anything funnier and better than mascots fighting each other for our amusement? No and never.
JOUST THE BEST
Since some people say that mascots fighting each other sends a poor image about a sport trying to clean itself up and remove all punching, so we have an alternative – jousting. The mascots team up on various horses and battle each other off the long run up.
A STONE AND A HARD PLACE
But ultimately, the best entertainment for rugby league fans is Ray Stone standing with arms folded staring at them for the full 15 minutes before the game and half time. And of course the crowd complies out of fear. Or disappears.
This Wooden Spooners article is brought to you by Stone’s Green Ginger Wine – Sipper’s Blend.
