On a winning streak better than the Dolphins, in training for the next mascot race, spending time in the lab working out how that magic spray works on soccer players at the World Cup, and trying to work out how to change his eligibility from Donkey to Queensland in time for Origin III, it’s time for some Rugby League tips and opinion from The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey. The NRL Donkey provides his NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 18 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
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The NRL Donkey’s NRL Round 18 Weekly Opinion
As the World Cup gets into its interesting stage, it’s very nice of the NRL to offer up a paltry, five-game, Origin-affected round. To give people the chance to not feel too bad about avoiding rugby league this weekend. If they choose to that is. Which most will.
As good as the Dolphins v Knights will be it won’t outrate Australia v Egypt for interest and viewers. Nor will Penrith v South Sydney minus Origin stars hold up against Belgium v Senegal.
Speaking of World Cup-NRL crossovers, the Broncos are similar to Italy, as in they are former winners of the competition but won’t qualify for finals somehow. Or maybe the Broncos are like South Korea where the coach is so unpopular he has been blurred out of TV news footage.
Cabo Verde aka Cape Verde are similar to St George Illawarra, because they don’t win many games, in Cape Verde’s case no wins, but the African team still made it to the knockout stage of the World Cup, and they have as much hope of beating Argentina at football as the Dragons do. But still Cape Verde make not winning look good, unlike the Dragons.
Talking of weaker teams, I wonder if the Gold Coast could give themselves a fancier name like Ivory Coast do. Maybe the Gold Coast could go French too and rename themselves Côte d’Or, which sounds like Christian Dior, which being fashion would suit as well. I’m sure that Mayor Tate-Quimby on the Gold Coast would be up for anything that makes money.
But hey, it’s all good, it’s only the rubbish five-game round of the NRL and the World Cup will be over in about seven weeks. By then I’ll hate The Beatles, Grimace, David Beckham, anyone who scores against Australia, and gritty Crime shows that I’ll never watch, but never SBS. What a magnificent job they do at broadcasting the World Cup. They could do NRL if they wanted, but they don’t.
Talking of broadcasting, but at a lower level of quality, I have heard talk in the barn about the new TV rights deal is going to bring standalone Origin like 95% of the rugby league fans want and need. Although, it is via the duck and he’s a loud mouth jerk, but at least he’s better than the mole on the farm.
Having standalone origin is like the daylight savings argument, nearly everyone wants it apart from a minority that ring into talkback radio that are dangerous enough for the powers that be not to make the change.
Or maybe Governments are truly scared of that science-defying additional hour of sunlight that comes with moving a clock back and forth. Or maybe the government are worried about cows and how they are affected. Or even, as one local caller once rang to discuss “have you thought about the bus timetables”, maybe the government and the NRL are scared of bus timetables.
Sadly only Queensland is stupid enough not to have daylight savings on the East Coast. They don’t on the West Coast either, but the West Australians seem to hate most things East Coast anyway. Daylight savings, GST, Albo and the Perth Bears. Seems the only people glad to have the Perth Bears in the competition in 2027 are former North Sydney fans, Fox League and St George Illawarra fans and club officials who are rubbing their hands together at the prospect of an even worse team in the comp.
People that will like the Perth Bears are those who hate the bye, which will remove the argument over whether teams should get two points or no points for a bye. Which is an even more divisive argument than Daylight Savings, so I’ll leave it and the curtains alone for now and cast an eye over the five game serving of NRL Round 18 Expert Tips.
The NRL Donkey’s NRL Round 18 Expert Tips & Match Analysis
FRIDAY 8PM PENRITH v SOUTH SYDNEY @ CommBank Stadium
Perhaps Nathan Cleary’s inability to own the Origin stage despite being one of the great modern players is rubbing off on Penrith who have forgotten how to win in Queensland. So maybe it’s lucky he isn’t playing for Penrith this weekend which gives them a big chance to Wayne Bennett unhappy about something. It’ll want to be a good game because I need the sleep for the Socceroos the net morning.
South Sydney by 12
SAT 5:30PM – ST GEORGE v WESTS TIGERS @ Kogarah
At least they didn’t open Round 18 with this one. The who cares game of the round. Perhaps the month.
Wests Tigers by 2
SAT 7:30PM – BRISBANE v CRONULLA
The 2026 Broncos season is going nicely. Seven losses in a row, key injuries piling up, unrest about players hating the coach, another player in trouble for driving offences. Maybe the Broncos should sack Michael Maguire and could hire Jason Ryles as their net head coach, I hear he’s good at car crashes. Michael Maguire will get another job, because he wins stuff, well except at the Wests Tigers but that is increasingly looking like a “them” problem.
If anything the Broncos will go better this weekend. One is that they have a decent recent record v Cronulla. Two is that Cronulla are insufferably dull and probably won’t like the bright light of a proper stadium and crowd that don’t like them. Thirdly, the Broncos best performances this season have been against the odds with heaps of injuries and commissions, Origin and legal, so maybe they’ll be up for this game. Although, their good, injury-filled performances were Xavier Willison filled, and he’s out this weekend. They’ll need a man mountain effort from everyone else. Or else.
Brisbane by 12
SUN 2PM – PARRAMATTA V MANLY
I wonder why this one isn’t 4pm, it looks an old Ray-Warren-Can’t-Be-Arsed-Travelling-Channel-Nein Special. The game gets a clear run too with no World Cup around it. It’s a funny one though, Parramatta have an amaing recent record v Manly, but that Manly wasn’t Fosball Manly so we’re not sure if stats are still valid. Not that the Eels are playing too badly, they just don’t win, which is it is so hard to tip them. But I’m a jerk and I’m going with a Fosball party pooping Eels win.
Parramatta by 6
SUN 4PM – NEWCASTLE v DOLPHINS
This is a serious Form v History match. Dolphins are mysteriously terrible against Newcastle, losing 5/6 games since joining the NRL. But who can resist an eight game winning streak, and although they lose some Origin players, including a debut for Jack Bostock, Kulikefu Finefeuiaki back and there’s also Tramplin’ Trai at the back while Newcastle lose their star fullback. And there’s Ray Stone. Always.
Dolphins by 8
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