A veteran local cricketer has vowed never to watch cricket again.
Peter has been playing both Queensland Sub-Districts and Winter Warehouse cricket for a number of clubs since 2000, and regards cricket as his favourite sport, but he’s finally had enough after watching the first England vs New Zealand Test.
“We’ve just finished the cod-awful IPL Mickey Mouse nonsense – which is didn’t watch any of – and finally got back to some proper cricket. But now this bloody ‘Test’ match is going to end inside three days! It’s a joke! There’s no point watching cricket anymore. Aussie Test summers are boring when it’s not India or the Poms and the Big Bash is going to be ruined once the IPL overlords take over. As if it can get any worse!”
With New Zealand already three wickets down chasing 250-odd, Peter elected to skip the Saturday evening (Australian time) third day.
“The misso was going to watch some disgusting reality show, which was fine by me. I watched a few minutes of it and this annoying American lady kept yapping on about how she was the ‘loudest, most extroverted person in the house who thrived off confrontation and drama’. That was enough and I told the misso I was going to grab some beers, go to my office, and watch extended highlights of a 1980s Test, when cricket was played properly, nobody hit sixes, and most Tests went the full five days. She didn’t mind.”
While Peter is currently playing winter cricket for the Master Batters side, he refuses to talk about modern cricket.
“There’s a couple of Indian kids who think that joke of an IPL is the greatest thing ever. I strongly disagree with them, but they’re nice kids and help us win, so I choose to hold my tongue for the good of the team.”
The Gurgler presents stories of the Park Cricketer, where we explore the lower reaches of the great game of cricket from the suburban ovals and rural grounds across Australia.
