Angrier than a room full of Fox League writers, ducking for cover like a Melbourne Storm Assistant Coach, trying his best to not lash out at kids at NRL games while wondering what he’s done wrong not to be a current NRL mascot, sitting on the extended bench and not expecting to play for the good of the team, and getting the full support of the board, it’s time for the weekly Rugby League rant from The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey. The NRL Donkey provides his NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 3 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
The NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 3 Weekly Opinion
What a sight to see rugby league in Bathurst last weekend, there’s so much to like. The noisy locals cheering, the less plastic-ky grandstand, a BBQ somewhere you just know the local Lions clubs would probably be involved in, and the duller than usual floodlights.
Rugby league takes so much from the bush. Hundreds of young men every year head to the various big smokes to try for a NRL career, leaving the plains out of Narrabri, or where everything for miles is high on the silence, or evading Tucker’s daughter’s attentions. But what does rugby league give back to the bush?
Not much. A few token games and that’s it. One of which was Penrith’s torture of the Sharks on Saturday in Bathurst, the Sharks rehearsing for September when they usually waste another year of a top eight finish.
Given the cost of living crisis, the War in Iran seeing fuel prices go berserk and supply dwindle, and the rise of One Nation, it’s never been harder to live out in the rural and regions. Yet here is rugby league fat with cash travelling to Las Vegas, and selling off State of Origin to the highest bidder, and inventing more ways to drive fans insane with more penalties, doing nothing.
Time for rugby league to give back.
Whilst I know that the draw for 2026 is set and in the case of everywhere other than the Gold Coast, tickets have been sold, but the NRL should set fire to the draw, or at least singe it a bit and make each team take a game to the bush. Proper bush. Preferably the rubbish Friday 6pm game, or the even worse Sunday 6:15pm shift.
That includes you Broncos. For years you’ve been trading off Roma Street without giving anything back to Roma itself.
The Sydney and NSW teams can find sister towns and teams throughout the state, and Melbourne, well they can play wherever they want because no one outside of Melbourne will want to see them anyway. One could argue before September that would also include most of Melbourne. Some Melbourne folk do love their rugby.
Queensland teams are spoiled for choice for great places to play, but if Charters Towers doesn’t get a game, then you may have one or multiple Katters hunting you down like a croc. And we all know how much one of the Katter’s like crocs.
But not only should the players, and in turn the games themselves just arrive and play, as part of the caravan of rugby league hope there should be at least five fully filled Fuel Tanker, to help ease the Iran’s war burden of getting fuel out to the country.
If the politicians or greedy fuel companies can’t do it. Then why doesn’t rugby league fill the void pitching in like the everyday heroes they should be. Like the pitch invasion for Alex Johnston’s record-breaking try, when rugby league bands together they can achieve anything.
Perhaps the NRL could donate any fines from pitch invasions last weekend and every weekend to the Rural-Regional Rugby League Foundation. Which would make future games interesting with fans knowing the $10K fine would be going to a good use.
What isn’t useful it the weekly expert tips, which are available below.
READ MORE: NRL DONKEY’S 2026 NRL SEASON PREVIEW
READ MORE: PROPER NRL ROUND 3 PREVIEW TIPS AND PREDICTIONS
READ MORE: ONE MINUTE MATCH REPORTS FOR ALL ROUND 2 GAMES
The NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 3 Expert Tips & Match Analysis
GAME BY GAME
THU 8pm – CANBERRA v BULLDOGS
Bronson Xerri must really not like Canberra, who could blame him. All I know is of course it isn’t Gus’ fault.
Canberra by 6
FRI 6pm – ROOSTERS v PENRITH
The Roosters have a better record in games where 10,000 people rush onto the field than against Penrith. They are unlikely to do anything this weekend that deserves that kind of crowd action.
Penrith by 8
FRI 8pm – MELBOURNE v BRISBANE
Tough game for neutrals, tougher game for Broncos based on recent and historical stats in Melbourne and their form.
Melbourne by 16
SAT 3pm – NEWCASTLE v WAHS
Two less fancied teams to be 2/2, and Newcastle keep doing it with their best players getting injured. Either Justin Holbrook is a coaching genius, and let’s face it, Wayne Bennett wouldn’t win a Premiership on the Gold Coast, or in Newcastle, or for the Dolphins. Or perhaps those injured stars aren’t really that good. As for the Wahs, the rugby league gods are smiling on them, along with well-wishers everywhere.
Wahs by 6
SAT 5:30pm – CRONULLA v DOLPHINS
Battle of the fins/phins, one could only hope that given it is Sharks, and there’s a team from Brisbane-ish, that the best shark of them all Greg Norman could make an appearance. Perhaps a celebrity conversion kick followed by five minutes of body building poses. Something for the fans. As for the game, Sharks are great at home, and Dolphins pretty terrible in Sydney. The only saving grace for the Dolphins is and always will be Ray Stone.
Dolphins by 2
SAT 7:30pm – SOUTH SYDNEY v WESTS TIGERS @ Central Coast Stadium
How much of a let down will this game be this weekend? Not just because it is in Gosford, but after the mobbing celebrations of Alex Johnstons record. The Rabbitohs will want to be switched on this weekend because the Tigers looked good last weekend. Sure the Cowboys stunk, but who could begrudge the Tigers from enjoying themselves. Genuinely hard to pick. The key to victory is annoying Cody Walker. Once he’s on the push and shove it’s all over for Souths.
Tigers by 8
SUN 4pm – PARRAMATTA v ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA
Yep, this is the Sunday 4pm game all right. Two traditional Sydney teams. Just the way Channel Nein like it. It’s not an all-Sydney clash that is the beef, it’s the choice of all Sydney clash. Especially when Roosters v Penrith gets the Fish n Chip Friday 6pm slot. Picking the Eels on the basis of halves and halves only.
Parramatta by 12
SUN 6:15pm – NORTH QUEENSLAND v GOLD COAST
Now this is the perfect time slot for this game. One for the mini, or perfect background noise for dinner.
North Qld by 4
READ MORE: THE GURGLER’S FULL NRL 2026 GEAR
We’ve been working hard for you to bring you the 2026 NRL Season Previews from every angle and angel possible. But never Jo Angel.
NRL DONKEY’S 2026 SEASON PREVIEW
BOLD NRL 2026 SEASON PREDICTIONS
CAPTAIN HINDSIGHT’S SENSIBLE NRL 2026 SEASON PREDICTIONS
WHY YOUR TEAM CAN’T WIN THE 2026 NRL PREMIERSHIP
NRL 2026 RATINGS PREDICTIONS
2026 NRL JERSEY RATINGS WITH AI GREK NORMAN
2026 NRL DRAW ANALYSIS
2026 NRL DRAW ANALYSIS – TEAM BY TEAM
THE A TO Z OF THE 2025 NRL SEASON
