A new year is here, one that should be filled with much sport, early and often, and at this stage of the year there’s more questions than answers available about the sporting year ahead, even with AI, so with that in mind we offer up Captain Hindsight’s Obvious 2026 Sporting Predictions.
With so many other better websites and publications, and News Ltd, rolling out their “bold 2026 sporting predictions, The Gurgler is going down a different path, opting for the sensible know-it-all obviousness of Captain Hindsight to give the obvious sporting predictions in advance, before he would tell you that they were going to happen after the event.
Only Captain Hindsight can deliver the most obvious predictions, using his special 0-0 hindsight in advance powers to deliver opinions and predictions that are so obvious they can be found on breakfast TV shows.
No one does obvious 2026 Sporting Predictions like Captain Hindsight and The Gurgler.
Captain Hindsight’s Obvious 2026 Sporting Predictions
THE NRL BUNKER WILL STUFF UP A CALL WITHIN THE FIRST FOUR WEEKS OF THE COMPETITION
It’s not a matter of if, but when. And when will be early, and then often.
A RUGBY LEAGUE PLAYER WILL BE SORRY TO THEIR TEAM MATES, THEIR CLUB, THEIR FAMILY AND RUGBY LEAGUE ITSELF BEFORE MAY
We can see it now. The press conference in front of the sponsors boards, with as much sorrow on the face of the players as the poor Manager of Social Media for the rugby league club, and the family standing awkwardly off to the side. Thankfully the animal involved isn’t forced to front the media this time, and the giant mascot of the alcohol-based sponsor was told to take the night off. But everyone will be sorry, that’s a Captain Hindsight obvious special.
RICKY STUART WILL GET ANGRY AT SOMETHING
Ricky Stuart aka the Angry Ant (and Carlos Smearson) will blow up at something. Hopefully early in the season, and often.
CANBERRA RAIDERS WILL BE LINKED TO MANY NEW PLAYERS BEFORE THEY MYSTERIOUSLY (NOT) RE-SIGN WITH THEIR CLUB OR ANOTHER CLUB ON MORE MONEY
Maybe it’s players using the Canberra Raisers as a bargaining chip that makes Ricky angry.
FOX SPORTS WEBSITE WILL CONTINUE TO USE PEOPLE’S TWITTER COMMENTS AS ARTICLES
When not bashing the Wests Tigers, discussing Lachlan Galvin, or giving oxygen to Buzz Rothfield, Fox Sports seemed to enjoy using Twitter to write half of the articles. Often the title of the article was a direct quote of one of the tweets.
Which gives hope to our website, which means any old garbage from the internet is basically a part time journalist. Who needs a degree.
Either that or they serve up a transcript of NRL 360 as fresh content.
GUS GOULD WILL EAT A LOT OF CHINESE FOOD
Given a lot of Phil Gould’s recruitment work is done at his famous Chinese Restaurant, we will see a lot of grainy footage, and mentions on NRL 360 about Gould with various players as he tries to build a team to win something while he’s still there.
BIG SCREEN TV RETAILERS, MESSI & RONALDO SHIRTS FROM AMAZON, OBSCURE FOOTBALLING NERDS & GEOGRAPHY BUFFS WILL SEE A SPIKE IN SALES/INTEREST IN JUNE
June sees the World Cup of football land, and it will be the biggest event of that month and the year quite possibly. But it also sees spikes in things you don’t often see. Harvey Norman and friends will be rubbing their hands at the prospect of a World Cup that can’t possibly be viewed on an old two-year-old TV with mediocre quality. And you’ll be surprised and surrounded by footballing nerds all of a sudden. Those that know a Serie A from a League One and a Ligue One. And those that know a Curaçao when they see one and are n’t afraid to Cabo Verde from time to time either.
ENGLAND WILL BE KNOCKED OUT OF THE WORLD CUP IN A PENALTY SHOOT OUT AFTER WEEKS OF SOMETHING OR OTHER COMING HOME
Just the way they like it. And we do.
DONALD TRUMP WILL BE THE MOST ENTERTAINING PUNDIT OF THE WORLD CUP
Following his social media account will be worth the effort.
NEWLY CONVERTED NETFLIX F1 FANS WILL EXPLAIN AT LENGTH TO PEOPLE WHO WATCHED EVERY RACE OF THE 2025 SEASON WHEN IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED JUST BEFORE THE 2026 KICKS OFF
New Netflix F1 fans are great, as it continues to expand the people of possible friends to discuss F1 with. But they do go berserk after the Netflix docu-series is launched just before the new season starts, blissfully unaware that regular F1 fans actually watched races as they happened and already know.
DANICA PATRICK WILL CONTRIBUTE NOTHING
Nothing except eye rolling from fellow commentators, and frantic keyboard tapping on social media around the world. Yet, like British bias, they will persist.
AFL GRAND ENTERTAINMENT WILL BE BETTER THAN THE NRL
Usually is, but no Snoop Dogg this year. Shame. But the combination of their better entertainment and daytime Grand Final in a traditional time slot, with no Channel Nein makes it the premium footy Grand Final in 2026.
AUSTRALIANS WILL ALMOST FORGET ABOUT THE WINTER OLYMPICS UNTIL SOME GUY WITH A NICKNAME THAT ORIGINATES FROM SOME LOCAL PUB IN MORAYFIELD WINS A MEDAL AND THEN EVERYONE LOVES SNOW-BASED EVENTS FOR TWO DAYS
Winter Olympics is usually hyped up by TV broadcasters who are desperately trying to recoup the money spent to host the TV coverage in the hopes that it will outrate Tipping Point – TV’s dullest game show. And it won’t.
AUSTRALIANS WILL ACTUALLY FORGET THE COMMONWEALTH GAMES ARE ON
They sure will. The time zone won’t help, but that’s Dan Andrews’ fault, as this was meant to be in Victoria.
THE NEXT TIME YOU’LL HEAR ABOUT YACHTING WILL BE 26 DECEMBER 2026
The Sydney to Hobart yachting race is an Australian icon sporting event, but that doesn’t mean we need to hear about it before Christmas. It’s essentially a play date for a bunch of rich folk, so nothing that we need to think of for more than a few minutes a year.
