Faster than an Aston Martin, more expendable than either Alpine driver, almost as popular as a Hulkenberg podium, and with more hope of getting out of Q1 than certain drivers, it’s the F1 Donkey with his unique view on F1 and more. Before each race The F1 Donkey puts the ass in sass and unloads his alternative, slightly unhinged thoughts on F1 including this week’s Bold 2025 Belgian Grand Prix Predictions and opinion.
The F1 Donkey’s Pre Belgian Grand Prix Thoughts
So much has happened since I was last here ranting about Formula 1.
Things like Max Verstappen meeting up with Toto Wolff on a yacht, who is going to be the Cadillac drivers for 2026, but mainly Christian Horner getting the boot at Red Bull. And may I say, good riddance.
Not that I don’t respect the work and achievement over his time at Red Bull, you’d be at Lance Stroll-F1 hating-ignorance to say he hasn’t been one of the better overseers of an F1 team in modern times. But I certainly won’t miss the Netflix-hogging, victim-claiming, smugness that polluted F1 most weekends.
And while it might be a shock to some, if he were a Premier League football manager, he would have already been given the “full support of the board” followed by that sad, lonely picture of a windless corner flag which carries the statement of the club being thankful for the services of ……… despite giving them the arse.
Just once, I’d like to see a club bring out a statement that doesn’t thank the manager. Especially one that has stuffed the club with poor form, terrible value for money signings, and a culture which poisoned the club for a decade after. As what happens so often in English Football. Just a picture of a teenage fan giving the manager the finger on the way to the tunnel. Maybe that has happened but it was only put on twitter, also known as X, and I missed it because of all the posts about Trump.
But if a manager wins the Premier League like Red Bull did in 2023, and now without Max Verstappen are close to the worst car in the field, that manager would be sacked once or twice by now. That’s without considering other events, and letting key staff go, including the most key staff member of any team in the history of F1. All because of egos. So it shouldn’t really be a surprise.
Red Bull are sort-of like the Manchester United of F1 perhaps. They did come close to having the same amount of wins in their last full season. Red Bull nine, Man Utd 11. The worry for Man Utd fans is if Red Bull are the Man Utd of F1, and Red Bull have got much worse in 2025, then Man Utd follow the same trend they will be in relegation form. As it was, they weren’t far from it in 2024-25. Saved only by the most inept trio of promoted clubs in Premier League history.
Staying with F1 and Football. How much fun would it be if Formula 1 had promotion and relegation of teams.
Back to Red Bull, or not, as if looks like Max wants out, and who could blame him. He knows the car better than anyone else. Yuki Tsunoda clearly doesn’t know the car based on current performance levels. But Max knows how hard he is driving the car, which from the outside looks like trying to juggle chainsaws lit on fire blindfolded. Who wouldn’t want an easier job that will win more stuff and see him paid more, with less BS. Sounds like the perfect job ad on a website like Seek. Unless he wants to work from home or a hybrid situation, that probably won’t work in Formula 1.
So if Max leaves, who should take the Red Bull drive. Maybe no one will want it. A post-Newey car in a team going backwards. Sure there will be a line of Red Bull juniors that are primed and ready to have their careers destroyed or slowed, but with Christian Horner not around, Rd Bull adviser Helmut Marko might have to blame himself. He won’t.
So I put forward three suggestions. One is the Hulk. If Nico Hulkenberg can score a podium in a Sauber by outdriving Lewis Hamilton in a Ferrari at the Briths Grand Prix where he has won a million times then the man deserves a crack.
Secondly if the car is going to be rubbish, and you just want a great driver to come back and make us feel good, then look no further than Daniel Ricciardo. Only the Australian is capable of brining that many smiles back to Red Bull and F1 in general. He is a polar opposite of Lance Stroll. In a good way.
Finally, Red Bull could consider a former Red Bull junior Dan Ticktum, who would bring his own special brand of team motivation and entertainment to Formula 1. This here is some of his very best work, but over his career he has proven to be fast, and angry. What a perfect combination to kick the arse of Red Bull back to the front of the grid. Otherwise, enjoy the back of the grid.
Now enough Red Bull talk for one week, and onto the 2025 Belgian Grand Prix predictions, which is a track of pure magnificence, and usually provides action and a glorious demonstration of F1 speed.
The NRL Donkey’s Bold 2025 Belgian Grand Prix Predictions
And here they are, in a convenient team by team format, so you can ignore them all at your convenience or peril. Depending on the outcome of our prediction.
McLAREN
An Oscar Piastri masterclass. Lando Norris to choke in qualifying and recover to second because McLaren are too good.
RED BULL
Max Verstappen to be a lot better than Yuki Tsunoda.
MERCEDES
Elbows out for the Mercedes duo, as the looming Max Verstappen arrival means one of them won’t be there next season.
FERRARI
Charles Leclerc to outqualify and outrace a lacklustre Lewis Hamilton.
WILLIAMS
Q3 and point for Albon. More bad luck for Carlos Sainz.
ALPINE
The last F1 race of Franco Colapinto’s career.
RACING BULLS
Midfield obscurity.
ASTON MARTIN
This has back-of-the-grid, first-corner-hairpin, lack of ability crash written all over if for Lance Stroll.
HAAS
Speed and accident from Oliver Bearman. Nothing noteworthy from Esteban Ocon.
SAUBER
Surely The Hulk won’t podium again. But think about it….Classic Track, Fast, rewards the best drivers, always a chance of rain. Maybe he will.
Belgian Grand Prix – DRIVER PREVIEW RATINGS
The stats boffins at The Gurgler have compiled a whole bunch of stats from this season, and recent seasons at this weekend’s venue, added a multiplier for recent results and come up with a score out of 100% which equates to each driver’s chances of doing well this weekend. Just to make finding a winner for a race more complicated than it needs to be.
Here are The Gurgler Driver Preview Ratings for this weekend.
F1 2025 Season Stuff
We’ve worked hard getting ready for the 2025 F1 Season, and this is our best work below.
BRITISH GRAND PRIX – RATINGS
AUSTRIAN GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
CANADIAN GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
SPANISH GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
MONACO GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
EMILIA-ROMAGNA GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
MIAMI GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
SAUDI ARABIA GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
BAHRAIN GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
JAPANESE GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
CHINESE GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
AUSTRALIAN GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
2025 F1 SEASON PREVIEW – DRIVERS
2025 F1 SEASON PREVIEW – TEAMS
2025 F1 SEASON – THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR AND AVOID
AI DOES F1 – TURNING CARS INTO ANIMALS
F1 2024 Season Stats
Want to remember what happened last season? Here’s a bunch of our best work to sum up the 2024 F1 Season.
F1 2024 FULL RACE REVIEWS ALL 24 RACES
