Angrier than a room full of Fox League writers and NRL 360 hosts, slower than a Bunker decision, but with more speed than an Origin Bolter and unsuccessfully challenging the on field decisions from time to time, it’s time for the weekly Rugby League rant of The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey, who provides his NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 12 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
The NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 12 Weekly Rant
Here we are then, another Origin period. Ahh, and you know it is Origin time don’t you?
No, it’s not because of the talk of Origin bolters. Nor debates about why NSW don’t pick form players, or why Queensland pick players from out of their arse.
It’s because the Warriors have a FTA TV Game on Channel Nein.
We know the draw is done at the start of the season, but does anyone really believe that Channel Nein would pick more Warriors games despite them being in the top four if they did the old six weeks in advance broadcasting picks. Well, certainly not on a Sunday afternoon. Shooter McGavin would say no, and so do we. Unlike Shooter McGavin we don’t eat pieces of shit for breakfast.
And you have to ask yourself, is it all worth it?
For the next two months and a bit the NRL we love and occasionally hate depending on which Bunker official is doing your game, or if Gerard Sutton or Ashley Klown comes anywhere your team’s game, is going to become a hibernated, half arsed version of itself.
There’s going to be weeks of five or six games, and if you’re lucky those games feature the sides going too shit to provide Origin players.
So the choice is good teams with good players out, or crap teams that have no many good players in the first place. What a choice.
And sometimes the good players will be named and not play. Or the NRL’s ridiculous draw means some will play within a few days of rugby league toughest game and be buggered. Some are super human like Payne Haas, but even he will need a rest. His shoulders sure will. He’ll be glad to go into a NSW side where he doesn’t have to do all the work.
No other sporting league on earth does this to itself.
Imaging the Formula 1 governing body put F1 on hold for a few months and take out the best eight drivers and let the teams fill them with F2 and F3 juniors. Although, they will probably beat Lance Stroll quickly. Or the Premier League spending two months with byes and player exits. Football does it properly by going on proper breaks for international tournaments and qualifying. So the best players are available for both. Those footballers just have to play 102 games a season, but they do earn the average annual wage in Australia every week, so life isn’t that tough.
And we may laugh in Australia about how US sports call themselves the World Champions despite the competition being limited to the USA and occasionally Canada, but they aren’t stupid enough to ruin their own comp like the NRL.
Then there’s the mind games and coaches with their snippy back and forths. Like a long distance game of Judge Judy without any of the excitement and sexiness of Judge Judy.
Despite being a Qld legend and somehow pulling series win out of a hat in his first series, Billy Slater’s “We’re Queenslanders” response to picking a bad side, which of course included Captain Plod, and being pantsed by the Blues was the most idiotic thing to come out of a Queensland mouth in 2024. And I shouldn’t have to remind you that this state includes Pauline Hanson and Bob Katter.
Then there’s the endless arguments about who should have made the squads, and most sides usually exclude a form player, and usually to their detriment. Like Qld in 2024 who decided that instead of the potential short term firepower of a rampaging David Fifita, they should go with the more travelator kind of option of Kurt Capewell. It didn’t end well. So one does wonder if this year’s David Fifita – Terrell May will be as costly an exclusion.
Laurie Daley seems like a thoroughly good guy, so one wonders if he is hard enough for Origin. He needs to get snippy lessons from Billy Slater, if they are available.
Finally, aside from the short weeks of shit games with no players, and late exits, and sniping, and bad press, and plodding, and all the other things that makes this two month Origin period awful, the worst is the reliance on Channel Nein to watch Origin.
Watching the Women’s Origin is passable and mainly because Peter Psaltis is the commentator, and his combination with Gus Gould actually works.
But come Men’s Origin time and Channel Nein ramp it up to 11 in their desperate struggle to appear relevant. Depending on your Origin the co-commentators are more dislikable than others. NSW fans will probably hate the arrogance of Cameron Smith, along with the same half of Qld who also secretly hate DCE. If NSW lose then there’s the prospect of putting up with a three year old tantrum from Andrew Johns, who then probably takes it out on his brother with another no talkies ban. Not everyone on Channel Nein is awful, but none of them are great. Nor is the coverage world class. And then there will be another round of those Westpac ads. And more cross promoting than a morning show.
None of that matters though. We just have to suck it up and put up with a shit competition for the next two months and six hours of unsufferable Channel Nein. You still have to ask yourself whether it is all worth it.
So I’m not ignoring the NRL and being a massive hypocrite, here are the expert tips for NRL Round 12.
The NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 12 Expert Tips
BULLDOGS v DOLPHINS
The Dolphins luck in by playing the Bulldogs in Origin mode. Although they aren’t the competition leaders for nothing. Although the one-eyed Dolphins fan in me thinks they can afford a loss. Actually a good game to start this awful Origin period.
Dolphins by 6
PARRAMATTA v MANLY
A game missing both star halfbacks. One clubs is happier than the other with that.
Parramatta by 8
PENRITH v NEWCASTLE
The question is, if you take half of the good players out of the Penrith side, is that worse than taking one of Newcastle’s best?
Penrith by 20
ROOSTERS v SHARKS
The Sharks have found the perfect mix of playing just good enough to win a lot of the time, but not good enough so none of their players get picked for State of Origin. It might lead to a complete change in club recruiting. Which is especially good news for good guy Nicho Hynes. Sharks will thrash the Roosters accordingly.
Sharks by 22
WARRIORS v CANBERRA
Channel Nein getting a taste of what the Fox League snobs get every week with a top four clash between two different but entertaining sides. It’s hard to pick a winner as both teams are so likeable. More fun to tip against Canberra as it might make Ricky Stuart angry.
Warriors by 2
