Faster than a Max Verstappen, more expendable than a Red Bull #2 driver, with more swearing than the FIA would like, and harder to get out of than a Brazilian gravel trap, it’s the F1 Donkey with his unique view on F1 and more. Before each race The F1 Donkey puts the ass in sass and unloads his alternative, slightly unhinged thoughts on F1 including this week’s Bold 2025 Saudi Arabia Grand Prix Predictions and opinion.
The F1 Donkey’s Pre Saudi Arabia Grand Prix Thoughts
Nothing says Easter like a dangerous blast through the streets of the city with the third most recognisable place name in Saudi Arabia.
They call the Jeddah track that hosts this weekend’s Saudi Arabia Grand Prix the fastest and most dangerous street circuit in the world, and that may well be true in the world of Formula One, but in the world of general motoring I would offer up a quiet industrial area on Queensland’s Gold Coast on a Saturday night as a more dangerous street circuit.
There’s probably an equal amount of potential smoke and accidents between the pair. Although one would argue the chances of accident depends on where Lance Stroll qualifies. For either event. But you know a Saturday night doing burnouts on the Gold Coast with an esky of Woodstock bourbon cans and a black T Shirt featuring some death metal band with optional “flanno” may not be to Lance Stroll’s taste. But if you think about it, given the permanent scowl on the Canadian’s face, maybe he would hate F1 more than Gold Coast burnouts. He really should give up at least one.
Before moving on from that industrial estate on the Gold Coast, I wonder which current or past F1 drivers would like to mingle with that crowd on a Saturday night. Max Verstappen does come to mind, and Daniel Ricciardo would be all over it. Even the Hulk. Not Esteban Ocon, Pedro Chaves or Stirling Moss. One is too arrogant to be taken in by the Saturday crowd, one wouldn’t pre-qualify and the other has passed away.
But back to Saudi Arabia, and their fast, dangerous track. One does wonder given all the wiggles (not the band) and tight confines of the walls what kind of place Jeddah is if they are their regular streets. Maybe they are all so busy they need to be in that much of a hurry all the time. Maybe it all comes down to egg prices and the speed required to get to the shop before they sell out. I’m not 100% sure, but I’m sure the people of Jeddah love scrambled eggs.
It does get me thinking, and along the lines of last week’s rant about F1 needing to be more like Mario Kart, perhaps the Jeddah fastest and most dangerous street track in the world isn’t dangerous enough.
First of all, and given the narrow width of the track from side to side, I’d like to see it somehow converted into a figure eight. But no fancy overpass and underpass like the Japanese Grand Prix, a completely open figure eight where cars cross at their peril. This would then end up being like a suburban Give Way sign where driver’s take as much risk as they dare. You can see some drivers being cautious and other blasting through without a care in the world. Like a country town on the night of the big footy finals.
Next up, I’ve always thought F1 tracks would be more exciting, and therefore better, if they had a jump somewhere. Sure you’ll get nanny state engineering loving freaks that will say that the suspension isn’t designed for it and will break ending in a catastrophic accident Or it will ruin all the aerodynamics, but isn’t that the fun of it? Who has not only built the fastest car, but the strongest. It would end up like one of those Demolition Derbies that don’t happen often enough. Especially the ones with caravans. Talking of which, chalk that down for another great idea. F1 cars towing caravans around the track doing a Demolition derby. For added fun, the F1 Team Principal is inside the caravan. For Red Bull we would allow both Christian Horner (and his Netflix crew) and Dr Marko to be in the caravan at the same time.
Finally in the three pronged attack to make F1 more dangerous, and therefore exciting, I just can’t look past a loop-the-loop. For decades people have said that F1 cars are so sophisticated and bla bla bla that they could run upside down on the ceiling. Well, prove it. Let’s see these cars do a full loop at pace to see if they really are the reverse airplanes they have claimed to be for so long. But for those safety conscious drivers and ones like Lance Stroll with limited ability, there is an alternative path off to the side, but it is essentially a giant sand trap, and we all know who can’t get out of those.
Talking about getting out, it’s time to drop the Bold Predictions for the Saudi Arabia Grand Prix and disappear.
The NRL Donkey’s Bold 2025 Saudi Arabia Grand Prix Predictions
And here they are, in a convenient team by team format, so you can ignore them all at your convenience or peril. Depending on the outcome of our prediction.
McLAREN
Oscar Piastri seems to like the desert races, maybe because they are as dry as he is. Another win from pole here.
RED BULL
This could be a rare double DNF for Red Bull. Max underwhelmed with Q3 effort, Yuki won’t get to whelm himself as much as that.
FERRARI
Copy/paste from last race’s bolds prediction. Podium for Leclerc, struggles for Hamilton.
MERCEDES
George Russell to threaten an upset win before the Mercedes alternative strategy falls apart in the last laps. Q3 and points bag for Kimi Antonelli.
WILLIAMS
More Q2 regret for Carlos Sainz this time it’s Liam Lawson who feels the wrath. Albon to qualify 8th-ish.
RACING BULLS
Izack Hadjar to outperform Yuki and make Q3 with a few points his race-end reward.
ALPINE
Unfortunately timed crash in qualifying for Jack Doohan. Camera pans to Reserve driver in pits. Pierre Gasly gets Q3 and points-ending puncture.
ASTON MARTIN
People say I don ‘t like Lance Stroll and every week I wish him to crash and embarrass himself because he outwardly appears to hate being an F1 driver, one of the best jobs in the world. And he’s a spoiled brat who won’t deserve an Adrian Newey car. And they’re right. Stroll to crash in race and P2.
HAAS
Bearman to outqualify and out-race Ocon. Points for Bearman.
KICK SAUBER
Nothing but a stint of glory seeking P2 driving from the Hulk. Which I would love. Love Hulk.
F1 2025 Season Stuff
We’ve worked hard getting ready for the 2025 F1 Season, and this is our best work below.
SAUDI ARABIA GRAND PRIX – PREVIEW
BAHRAIN GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
JAPANESE GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
CHINESE GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
AUSTRALIAN GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
2025 F1 SEASON PREVIEW – DRIVERS
2025 F1 SEASON PREVIEW – TEAMS
2025 F1 SEASON – THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR AND AVOID
AI DOES F1 – TURNING CARS INTO ANIMALS
F1 2024 Season Stats
Want to remember what happened last season? Here’s a bunch of our best work to sum up the 2024 F1 Season.
F1 2024 FULL RACE REVIEWS ALL 24 RACES
