While the Matildas captured the Australian public’s imagination for a few weeks, their 3-1 semi-final loss to England means everyday Aussies can stop pretending to like soccer again.
“It’s a relief to be honest. Once I got over the initial disappointment, I realised that I had no idea what was going on,” said Brisbane-based fan Peter. “I was lucky enough to score free tickets to the quarter final. While – like everyone – I was captivated by the penalty shootout – I had to ask my mates how long it went on for.”
Free from pretending to care about soccer until the Socceroos play in the next world cup, Peter can now resume his main sporting passions: the Brisbane Broncos, Brisbane Lions, and Brisbane Heat.
“The mighty Bronx are a shot at going all the way, the Lions should give the finals a good shake, and who knows what the Heat will do?”
Everyday News is a brand new general news/parody section of The Gurgler, and definitely not a lame rip-off of ‘The Betoota Advocate’. We swear.
