It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times, and now the Wooden Spooners continue to cast their eye over the biggest weekend of rugby league this season with the 2023 NRL Round 7 Results & Headlines.
Going beyond the scores, the 2023 NRL Round 8 Results & Headlines gives the extra insight in the NRL that only the Wooden Spooners can, and exlcusive stories you won’t hear anywhere else.
All reports are unconfirmed and most are completely made up, but we’ll let you decide which ones are. Any issues please contact our Legal team, and for any coaching vacancies or Luke Brooks keyboard bashing please contact the Fox League team.
2023 NRL ROUND 8 RESULTS
| Thu | South Sydney | 20 | Penrith | 18 |
| Fri | Parramatta | 16 | Brisbane | 26 |
| Sat | Bulldogs | 20 | Cronulla | 33 |
| Sat | North Queensland | 18 | Newcastle | 16 |
| Sun | Dolphins | 28 | Gold Coast | 26 |
| Sun | Wests Tigers | 16 | Manly Warringah | 22 |
| Tue | Roosters | 27 | St George Illawarra | 26 |
| Tue | Melbourne | 30 | Warriors | 22 |
2023 NRL ROUND 8 RESULTS HEADLINES
JACK WIGHTON SOUTHS MOVE ANOTHER SUCCESS FOR THE DIAL-A-DOLPHIN HOTLINE
Jack Wighton recently announced that he was going to test his value on the open market, and The Wooden Spooners know what that means…..
He was getting ready to Dial-A-Dolphin.
And sure enough, there were reports of him catching up with Wayne Bennett for a chat.
And sure enough Jack Wighton signs with another club, South Sydney Rabbitohs where he will link up with his pre-season training partner Latrell Mitchell.
The Dial-A-Dolphin Hotline continues to be a boon for NRL players looking for that great new deal. Elsewhere.
WAYNE BENNETT GIVES THE OPPOSITE HALF TIME CHAT TO THE PREVIOUS WEEK FOR THIER GAME AGAINST SOUTH SYDNEY. OR MAYBE IT WAS THE SAME SPEECH> OR MAYBE F—- YOU IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS SAYS BENNETT
Wayne Bennett sings You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling at the Dally M Awards (year unknown)
After dropping 30 points to nothing in the second half in Round 7 against the Rabbitohs, the Wooden Spooners claimed that Wayne Bennett had addressed the team as South Sydney at half time forgetting he was no longer their coach.
The same spy in the dressing room hinted that this week Wayne Bennett gave more or less the same speech at half time, which made us suspicious as South Sydney weren’t even playing.
Looking more into the spy, he turns out to be a hopeless drunk, who on both occasions had too many rum and cokes. We later found out he’s the kind of jerk that goes to RSLs on Anzac Day to stir up diggers and be an arsehole at Two Up.
We are recruiting for a new half time spy in Brisbane.
“I’LL SHOW YOU A MOTHERF—ING HIP DROP” SAYS FORMER WWE STAR
Once again the NRL has got itself into a pickle over the wildly differing interpretations of a rule, the flavour of the month being the hip drop.
Of course this blew up again in Round 8, with the Parramatta v Broncos game seeing three incidents, one which really wasn’t being sent to the sin bin, and the worst of the lot which injured the opponent receiving no sin bin.
NRL fans are confused, and angry.
Surprisingly, so is a former WWE wrestler who fell in love with rugby league in recent years.
The wrestler, who asked us not to use his name without payment, tweeted on his account with a blue tick:
“Man, the NRL don;t know what they’re talking about with this hip drop thing.
I’ll gladly show you motherf—ers what a hip drop is.
#HipDrop”
RUGBY LEAGUE FAN GLAD THE NRL IS GETTING ITS RULE CRACKDOWN OUT OF ITS SYSTEM BEFORE MAGIC ROUND
Despite all he hip drop drama over the past few weekends, one fan is happy it’s happening now.
Fan Clive Steamer (not his real name) is attending his first MAgic Round, having got the entire weekend off from his girlfriend, who will use the time to continue cheating on him with his cousin.
Clive has organised with five of his loosest mates to go to all three days of the Magic Round and have even booked a nearby AirBnb to use a base to max out the time he can drink for.
“Yeah, I’ve got a big weekend planned, and don’t want it ruined by rule crackdown like that sin binning bullsh!t a few years ago.” Clive said to us as we both returning from the Dolphins-Titans game on the Caboollture line train.
THE FEINT SOUNDS OF CASH REGISTERS COULD BE HEARD DURING MOMENTS SILENCE IN NRL GAMES DURING ANZAC DAY WEEKEND
The Anzac Day weekend of rugby league brings many great things, good rugby league matches, and the rare showing of respect by rugby league fans.
The moments of silence were impeccably done at every game. Thankfully after last year’s punch up at one Anzac weekend clash.
But during the moment silence around the grounds this weekend you could hear the dull sound of cash registers chalking up yet another jersey for the keen NRL followers.
Every club had an Anzac themed jerseys and most of those used Australian themed pictures. Which means of course, more jerseys to buy. Which is the second biggest earner for the NRL behind TV broadcast deals.
With at least 7 more themed rounds to go, the NRL are rubbing their hands and can hear those cash registers now.
In case you forgot last year…..
2023 NRL ROUND 8 SHORT, SHARP HEADLINES
LOUDEST CHEERS FOR SOUTH SYDNEY’S LATE WIN OVER PENRITH PANTHERS CAME FROM NRL 360’S PAUL K_NT AS HE SHOWS A LITTLE CLASS BY SWINGING HIS SHIRT OVER HIS HEAD TOO.
DOLPHINS BEATING GOLD COAST IN THE BATTLE OF THE DOLPHINS PROVES THAT THE THE DOLPHINS ARE THE REAL DOLPHINS AFTER THE GOLD COAST TRIED TO USE DOLPHINS BEFORE THE DOLPHINS SAID THEY COULDN’T AND BECAME THE TITANS.
