A local man is relieved he can stop walking on eggshells after his two best mates FINALLY saw Spider-Man: No Way Home last week.
Desperate to avoid spoilers, Derek saw NWH on opening night, but was warned by his mates (who live interstate) not to spoil it in their WhatsApp group, as they were super busy and wouldn’t see it until after Christmas.
“I’ve spent three f****** weeks holding in the bloody spoilers, making stupid small talk about anything else to avoid the subject”, said Derek.
Then, on Boxing Day, Derek got the message he’d been waiting for: the boys had finally seen it.
“Mate, it was like the first of December in the year I stupidly did No Nut November: it all came gushing out.”
Derek spent all Boxing Day evening with his mates taking about the movie in depth: like when SPOILER was killed by SPOILER, or when SPOILER, SPOILER, SPOILER made a surprise appearance, or when SPOILER rescued SPOILER from SPOILER, or when SPOILER, SPOILER, SPOILER, teamed up to fight SPOILER, SPOILER, SPOILER, SPOILER.
Everyday News is a brand new general news/parody section of The Gurgler, and definitely not a lame rip-off of ‘The Betoota Advocate’. We swear.
