By Theydon Bois.
Our final instalment in our wishlist sets up our vision for the world this year. Most importantly the world of sport.
As the great former Liverpool manager Bill Shankly once said “Some people believe football is a matter of life and death, I am very disappointed with that attitude . I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.” The Gurgler concurs and we spread our love across most sports, although as you’ll read below we won’t be relying on living or dying by our wishes. But here’s hoping.
– Mark Webber win Le Mans at first opportunity, finally beating Vettel to something, and showing his quality as well as exorcising demons from his previous aerobatics. Minimum – make it past the first corner.
– Whilst we’re on motorsport – please someone other than Vettel to win one of the races this year. Minimum – in a touch of irony Vettel winning the championship after coming from behind and only winning because of the double points created to combat him winning the title.
– ICC deems One Day cricket a waste of time and leave just T20 and Tests. Will we expand on this in the coming weeks. Minimum – fewer games.
– Channel 9 to go broke and have to relinquish both Cricket and NRL coverage. Minimum – a scandal involving Michael Slater forcing him to resign from all forms of television.
– Brad Hogg to be selected and spin Australia to victory in T20 World Cup. Minimum – England not winning will suffice.
– Australia to at least not get flogged in the first game of the World Cup Football, given us football fans a few more days to dream before playing Spain and Holland. Minimum 2 – 0 or less.
– FIFA finally work out that a World Cup in summer in Qatar is a stupid idea in addition to all the human rights issues building the stadiums and the total outcry after continued protests and hands 2022 World Cup to Australia. Minimum – give it to England.
– Ipswich Town to break cycles of mediocrity and challenge for promotion. Minimum – more mediocrity.
– English Premier League to go down to last day at both end of the table including a 10 way battle for relegation. Minimum – 8 way battle for relegation.
– South Sydney to finally repay loyal fans and win a Grand Final. Minimum – will take a losing Grand Final appearance.
– A Redcliffe Dolphins v North Sydney Bears final on NRL Grand Final day. Minimum – South Sydney make the Grand Final.
– Ricky Stuart aka Carlos Smearson to fail at Canberra and finally lose his last chance at scowling his way through an NRL season. Minimum – wooden spoon for starters.
– Miguel Angel Jiminez to win all four majors. Minimum – US Masters – can’t you picture that Green Jacket with a big fat cigar.
SHORT AND SWEET.
– There is no Brazilian version of the vuvuzela at this World Cup.
– AFL to introduce 9’s competition to rival NRL.
– NRL to move Grand Final to 3pm.
– Rugby Union goes broke and disappears.
FINALLY….
Will someone hurry up and finish the bloody ASADA Drugs In Sport investigation. With the whole sorry saga about to blow the candles for a first time, just think of the action taken thus far. Parading all the heads of sport on the podium in Canberra telling everyone not to underestimate what they know reeked of a school principal publicly shaming a handful of students for a food fight. We may well underestimate what they know, but we can certainly say we overestimated how much action they take. But then again, it is a government department of sorts. You can visit the ASADA website for a myriad of FAQ’s.
Politics and sport usually don’t and shouldn’t mix. Aside from the occasion jersey thrown over the top of a business shirt whilst unconvincing handballs and spiral passes are thrown for a stunt, or handing out the third place trophy at the Grand Prix, politicians should stay well away. They ruin just about everything in everyday life, so leave our sport alone.
Not that The Gurgler wishes ill upon The Sharks, but surely they deserve not have known one way or the other before entering a second season of innuendo. Surely still, Sandor Earl shouldn’t be the only scapegoat thus far if the crimes are as widespread as the bureaucrats say it is.
But never fear, they’ve imported an ex judge to speed things along, which may get us to April before knowing any more. It may be of unprecedented complexity, but that’s Canberra excuse talk to cover backsides. Let’s hope that a second birthday of “the darkest day in Australian Sport” isn’t celebrated.
