“Cocaine Cassie” Wins Jerk of the Month May 2017

jarryd hayne jerk

The votes from our loyal readers have been counted and the poll closed and “Cocaine Cassie” has won the Jerk of the Month May 2017 award.

It may be small or zero compensation for being stuck in a Columbian jail for what will no doubt be the best part of the next decade, but Cocaine Cassie, and her evolving story of shenanigans has won her the ultimate prize on this website.

She may not be the year’s biggest jerk, as most of the damage done has been by herself, or could have been afflicted on her by others in trusted positions, but all the same she has followed Jerk behaviour.

Cocaine Cassie joins a great list of Jerks who have previously excelled in the field of jerkdom for 2017 so far. And she is in the running for Jerk of the Year.

Timely too, given that it coincided with the return of Australia’s darling of drug trafficking Shapelle Corby and all the associated shenanigans and the public will be looking to love a new Mule.


You can always nominate that special someone for June 2017 by getting in touch via contact@thegurgler.com.au. The Jerk awards are all about you, so get in touch.

Without the input from our many fan, it would simply be Channel Nein and Nick Kyrgios every month.

Nominations will be posted later in the month with a week or so to vote on the month’s biggest jerk.


Why not catch up with our “Honour Board”.

Previous Winners

February 2017 – Donald Trump

March 2017 – Pete Evans

April 2017 – Mitchell Moses

2016 Jerk of the Year – Channel Nein Cricket Commentary



Coming a close second, and argued by some that they are even bigger Jerks than Cassie is her family. Given how quick they were to jump onto the cash from rival TV networks, it has some merit.

Further back is Mitchell Moses and his uncle Benny Elias. The Moses saga defines what is the worst part of the NRL (apart from Marvel Heroes round), and his uncle’s rising presence on the back of it is bad news too.

Cyclist were equal with the Tigers jerks, and that is easy prey, as no one is consistently Jerk worthy than a cyclist.

The rest got a couple of token votes or less. Two of our biggest regular turds Channel Nein and Nick Kyrgios got no votes. This month.


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