Jerk of the Month May 2017 Nominations

jerk of the month

Just to confirm how quick a month goes these days, it is time again to nominate our potential Jerk of the Month recipients for May 2017.

We are looking to add a fourth Jerk of the Month, to add to an exclusive list of deserving Jerk Champions so far in 2017. And those will go into the draw to be named Jerk of the Year – the ultimate accolade. Joining the 2016 Winner Channel Nein Commentary team.

Previous Winners

February 2017 – Donald Trump

March 2017 – Pete Evans

April 2017 – Mitchell Moses

2016 Jerk of the Year – Channel Nein Cricket Commentary

This month saw nominations again come from our loyal readers, and one of them means the April winner – Mitchell Moses – is up for a second consecutive monthly award. If you want to nominate a Jerk feel free to get in touch via our email contact@thegurgler.com.

Onto the nominations for Jerk of the Month May 2017, and as ever it is a bulging list of undesirables, but who is the biggest jerk? It’s over to you now to vote. Vote early, vote often.

Mitchell Moses

April 2017 Jerk of the Month has been nominated again by one of our loyal readers.

After signing with Parramatta for 2018, he has been itching to get there early, not wanting to get on the bus. His dropping of the bottom lip had been gradual in the last few weeks, but the performance against the Rabbitohs last weekend was the final straw for the Tigers who told him to F*** Off , and F*** Off now. But that sulk against Souths was a real toy throwing from pram moment, and a deserving nomination as Jerk of the Month for May 2017.

You too can nominate someone who you think is worthy, it doesn’t have to be anyone famous either, it could be a jerk who cut you off on the freeway.

Benny Elias

Because of the above we have seen Benny Elias more than usual. Less is more we say.

Delta Goodrem

One of the main reasons most reality singing shows are unwatchable. We don’t watch of course, as there is no doubt some form of football that needs to be watched on Bein Sports, but even promo grabs, or bits from the excellent Have You Been Paying Attention produce a groan from us as large as their ratings. Her involvement in the opening song for Channel Nein’s rugby leagye coverage is also not going to win us over. Or any new fans. “Geez, now the NRL and Channel Nein have Delta Goodrem on board with rugby league I am really interested” said by no one ever.

“Cocaine Cassie”

Time for Cocaine Cassie to put her headphones in, she may not like what’s coming next.

Under the umbrella of being innocent until proven guilty, but there is just something that is not quite right about her situation. As the days go on, her back story becomes more “interesting” as more details are discovered. Something is not quite right when the SES of South Australia quickly advise via Social Media that they have nothing to currently do with her.

She may not have been found guilty of trafficking just yet, but she could be found guilty of Jerk of the Month.

And Her “Family”

Forming a nice disorderly queue to be the first to grab the cash with a tell all to the awful commercial Sunday night programs, the family and or fiancé have not come across well during this whole process. In fact, they all look like real Jerks.

More will undoubtedly come out about all the things going on behind the scenes, but for now at minimum we think they are persons of interest in the field of Jerk of the Month nominations.

Channel Nein

Can’t really remember why they have been nominated, perhaps it was re-signing Ray Warren for five years, meaning Fox Sports will have to be kept for the next half decade. Or their Sunday afternoon scheduling. Likely to be nominate for June after we have to endure their Origin coverage.

The NRL

For allowing the NRL to go to shit around Origin time every year. 4 games with all the Origin stars missing? Mmmmm, shithouse. Likely to be nominated for the next three months. Should have won previously for Marvel Heroes Round. This biggest piece of dross in sport. Or their reluctance to change anything in the player market, which stinks.

Nick Kyrgios

Has pulled out of the French Open, citing injury, thus robbing us of a chance to see a quality piece of Jerk work that he would no doubt have received a monthly nomination for. So for that we nominate him as a Jerk of the Month for  May 2017 for denying us the chance to nominate him as a Jerk of the month.

Cyclists

Should be inked in as a permanent nominee for their ignorance and arrogance. And we mean cyclists, not someone who rides a bike. There is a big difference. Lattes, Lycra and Lack of Giving a Flying about anyone else.

Instead of giving them the 1 metre or the finger, we will allow our readers to give them the finger an a chance to vote them for Jerk of the month.

Coles

Instead of burying the Down, Down commercials forever, they have continued them and made them worse. Jerks.

Francesco Becchetti

The Italian owner of English football team Leyton Orient has really earned his Jerk of the Month nomination. His standing as being the very worst of an awfully big list of awful football club owners is some effort.

He took the reigns of the East London club just after they had missed out on promotion to the second tier Championship in a penalty shootout, and in the three subsequent seasons he has seen them be relegated from the Football League for the first time in 112 years, and won’t be sure which one of the 11 managers he’s fired to put the blame on.

The club could be liquidated, and the Italian has been accused of not paying wages. A grim situation and sad for us as we followed the club after a stint living in London last decade and they had a great name.

 

VOTE HERE NOW – CLOSES 31st MAY

 

 

 

About Kaaps Loche 193 Articles
Kaaps doesn’t sleep much, and has a 60inch full HD TV and Foxtel, therefore watches more television than most. is also very strange and has a slightly different outlook on life, so comes up with a lot of rubbish that he thinks is funny and usually isn’t. Out of sympathy, we publish his stuff from time to time. So prepare your sympathy laughs and put that lovely drawing on the fridge for Kaaps.

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