Time for our EPL Matchday 37 Predictions, and just two and a half round to go. This is a good two and a half. Unlike the Charlie Sheen show.
Middlesbrough joined Sunderland as the relegated clubs, and any remnants of smug being the top dog in the North East of England has disappeared with not only their relegation but Newcastle’s promotion as Championship Champions.
Just the one drop spot left, and it looks a battle between Hull and Swansea although Crystal Palace and possibly Watford aren’t 100% safe yet.
Thankfully the last Champions League places battle looks like it will probably go down to the last kick. And the Europa League final.
This week’s TV Game on SBS for those cheap-arses (us included) is Sunderland v Swansea. A pivotal game for the relegation scrap.
Time to get on with our EPL Matchday 37 Predictions now though.
Each week we put our tips up against an opponent, just like Lawro’s tips on the BBC Football website. But instead of having famous comedian and musicians we’ve never heard of, we put our tips up against a different type of opponent.
We determine tips based on some ridiculous premise or statistic, and we then see if arse truly beat class.
Happily we’ve yet to run out of ideas for opponents. Just.
This week’s EPL Matchday 37 Predictions opponent is based on how many shirts a club sold.
How does it work? Easy.
The club which has sold the most shirts out of the two sides in the past 5 seasons gets the tip. Simples really.
The Gurgler’s EPL Matchday 37 Predictions
Time for us to put our money where our mouth is, and lets see if we can beat the shirt sold statistic.
EVERTON to beat Watford
CHELSEA to beat WBA
DRAW – Man City v Leicester
DRAW – Bournemouth v Burnley
MIDDLESBROUGH to beat Southampton
SUNDERLAND to beat Swansea
ARSENAL to beat Stoke
HULL to beat Crystal Palace
WEST HAM to beat Liverpool
DRAW – Spurs v Man Utd
EPL Matchday 37 Predictions by Team Shirts Sold
Shirts sold in past 5 seasons in brackets. 2011/12 to 2015/16 and globally that is.
EVERTON (80K) to beat Watford (10K)
CHELSEA (900K) to beat WBA (30K)
MAN CITY (342K) to beat Leicester (50K)
BURNLEY (15K) to beat Bournemouth (10K)
SOUTHAMPTON (30K) to beat Middlesbrough (25K)
DRAW – SUNDERLAND (25K) v Swansea (25K)
ARSENAL (835K) to beat Stoke (40K)
CRYSTAL PALACE (25K) to beat Hull (10K)
LIVERPOOL (852K) to beat West Ham (45K)
MAN UTD (1.75M) to beat Spurs (268K)
Currently we are better than our opponents, only just. No great boast as our tips are under 50% for the year. We stink really, but why not check out the range of creative betting opponents we have come up with.
THE GURGLER RESULTS
Total – 155 / 321 (only started Match Day 6 – includes FA Cup Rd 3)
Average – 4.8 / 10
Best: 8/10 (1) – Worst 2/10 (1) – Last Time – 4/10
Total – 134 / 321
Average – 4.2 / 10
3 Year Old – 6/10
7 Month Old – 3/10
Pack of Cards – 3/10
The Dog – 2/10
Cars that drove past – 5/10
Frankington Stanley 2/10
Scrabble – 5/10
Alphabetical Order – 4/10
Colour of Kits – 5/10
Team Nicknames – 4/10
British Train Stations – 6/10
Team Abbreviations – Results Pending – 3 / 10
Famous Faces – 6/10
Last 6 Form (for FA Cup) – 16/32
The Sack Race – 5 / 10
Hours of UK Sunshine – 4/10
FA Cup Form – 3/10
Vowels – 0/10
Excel – 6 / 10
Crime – 1 / 8
Yellow Cards – 6 / 10
Postcodes – 3 / 10
House Values– 3/10
Midweek Form – 3/10
Most Titles Won – 6/ 10
Fewest Relegations – 5/11
Traffic Lights – 4/10
How Old a Club Is – 3/10