EPL Matchday 36 Predictions – Gurgler vs How Old A Club Is

Time for The Gurgler's EPL Matchday 36 Predictions and this week our different opponent is based on the age of the club, oldest club wins.

EPL Matchweek 5

Time for our EPL Matchday 36 Predictions.

Not long to go now for what feels a very long EPL season. Not a great deal left to decide, Chelsea will need a very uncharacteristic stuff up not to win title, Spurs will finish second and finish ahead of Arsenal, but there is the battle for the top 4 places.

How interesting it is to see some of the most expensive squads of all time playing for the scraps of 4th place. At least Manchester United won a Cup I guess.

At the other end Sunderland did what Aston Villa did before them and finally succumbed to their years of mediocrity and were relegated. They will be lucky to finish as high in the Championship next season as Aston Villa will this season. Sunderland have been clearly the worst team all year, and that is some feat considering that the newly promoted Hull started off the year with no permanent manager and barely enough players to start a season. Hull may just survive, which is the other remaining battle, as Middlebrough as are good as relegated.

Time to get on with our EPL Matchday 36 Predictions now though.

Each week we put our tips up against an opponent, just like Lawro’s tips on the BBC Football website. But instead of having famous comedian and musicians we’ve never heard of, we put our tips up against a different type of opponent.

We determine tips based on some ridiculous premise or statistic, and we then see if arse truly beat class.

We are really running out of ideas for a tipping opponent that is different and different from one we’ve used.

Given we are tired and feel old, this week’s EPL Matchday 36 Predictions opponent is based on how old the club is.

How does it work? Easy.

The club which is the oldest gets the tip. As anything older means better doesn’t it. It is based on the year the club was founded.

The Gurgler’s EPL Matchday 36 Predictions

SPURS to beat West Ham
MAN CITY to beat Crystal Palace
BOURNEMOUTH to beat Stoke
BURNLEY to beat West Brom
HULL to beat Sunderland
DRAW – Leicester v Watford
SWANSEA to beat Everton
DRAW – Liverpool v Swansea
MAN UTD to beat Arsenal
CHELSEA to beat Middlesbrough

EPL Matchday 36 Predictions by Traffic Light

Year founded in brackets.

SPURS (1882) to beat West Ham (1895)
MAN CITY (1880) to beat Crystal Palace (1905)
STOKE CITY (1863) to beat AFC Bournemouth (1899)
WEST BROM (1878) to beat Burnley (1882)
SUNDERLAND (1879) to beat Hull City (1904)
WATFORD (1881) to beat Leicester (1884)
EVERTON (1878) to beat Swansea (1912)
SOUTHAMPTON (1885) to beat Liverpool (1892)
MAN UTD (1878) to beat Arsenal (1886)
MIDDLESBROUGH (1876) to beat Chelsea (1905)

PREVIOUS RESULTS

Currently we are better than our opponents, only just. No great boast as our tips are under 50% for the year. We stink really

THE GURGLER RESULTS

Total – 151 / 311 (only started Match Day 6 – includes FA Cup Rd 3)
Average – 4.9 / 10

Best: 8/10 (1) – Worst 2/10 (1) – Last Time – 3/10

OPPONENT’S RESULTS

Total – 131 / 311
Average – 4.2 / 10

3 Year Old – 6/10

7 Month Old – 3/10

Pack of Cards – 3/10

The Dog – 2/10

Cars that drove past – 5/10

Frankington Stanley 2/10

Scrabble – 5/10

Alphabetical Order – 4/10

Colour of Kits – 5/10

Brexit Voting – 3/10

Person in City/Town per Points – 7/10

Team Nicknames – 4/10

British Train Stations – 6/10

Team Abbreviations – Results Pending – 3 / 10

Famous Faces – 6/10

Last 6 Form (for FA Cup) – 16/32

The Sack Race – 5 / 10

Hours of UK Sunshine – 4/10

FA Cup Form – 3/10

Vowels – 0/10

Excel – 6 / 10

Crime – 1 / 8

Yellow Cards – 6 / 10

Postcodes – 3 / 10

House Values– 3/10

Midweek Form – 3/10

Most Titles Won – 6/ 10

Fewest Relegations – 5/11

Traffic Lights – 4/10

About Theydon Bois 253 Articles
Born and raised on the banks of Yebri Creek, Theydon Bois has always been obsessed by sport. A stellar career of Underage B sides, RSL Social Golf, C Grade Warehouse and D Grade Indoor Cricket didn’t showcase much talent, but provided a window into the love for any game, any time. Theydon follows as much as he can and will provide opinion, ideas, and best tips and bets for most sports*. A particular interest in English Football sees Theydon Bois up every Saturday night until 2am with two laptops, smartphones, IPad and a radio feed of Soccer Saturday. A lifelong fan of underperforming, mediocre, disappointing teams will not sway his enthusiasm for sport. *Rugby Union not included.

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