The Gurgler’s Slightly Comprehensive 2017 NRL Season Preview

Here is the Gurgler's 2017 NRL Season Preview full of the usual rubbish, bold predictions, whining about how bad Channel Nein are, and more.

NRL round 4 results

Welcome to our 2017 NRL Season Preview, a less than comprehensive guide to the new season ahead.

With the Fox League Channel revolutionising Rugby League in 2017, we are as excited as ever. And that will last until Origin ruins the NRL with its rubbish truncated rounds and missing stars.

Our 2017 NRL Season Preview will have our bold predictions for the season ahead, whether it be for making money, attempting to look smart and failing miserably, or pointing out a few of our favourite things.

We’ll supply a weekly preview for our one regular fan, but for now all can accept our 2017 NRL Season Preview.

The Gurgler’s 2017 NRL Season Preview Bold Predictions

The Final 2017 Ladder

Here’s our best attempt to guess the entire 2017 NRL Season in order.

Melbourne
Penrith
Canberra
Roosters
Cowboys
Parramatta
NZ Warriors
Broncos
Sharks
Manly
Souths
Titans
Wests Tigers
Canterbury
Dragons
Newcastle

Other 2017 NRL Season Preview Crystal Ball Selections

Here’s a few of our thoughts for street money heading into the new season. Odds from William Hill.

Premiers: Penrith ($8)
GF Quinella: Canberra/Penrith ($34)
Minor Premiers: Melbourne ($6.50)
Dally M: Bryce Cartwright ($17)
Fewest Wins (or last of the sides that don’t cheat) Newcastle ($1.66)
Top Qld Side: Cowboys ($2.00)
Top NSW Side: ($3.00)
1/2 Season Leader: Canberra ($9.00)
Top Try Scorer: Jordan Kahu ($67)
Top Point Scorer: Jordan Kahu ($4.00)

The Gurgler’s 2017 NRL Season Preview – FIRSTS, LASTS, PLENTY and NONE

Here’s a pile of things we think or hope will happen throughout the 2017 Season.

FIRST

First Coach Sacked/Quit by “Mutual Consent” – Des Hasler

First Mention of “Origin Bolter” – before completion of Round 2

First Mention of “Boom Rookie” – in wash up of Round 1 in Supercoach related articles. Great term though.

First game of Channel Nein we’ll watch – State of Origin 1

First bitching about Channel Nein coverage – 2 seconds after kick off.

Other Firsts we’re looking forward to:

First Rad-rad-rahhh from Warren Smith.

First look at the new 10m offside line on Fox Sports

First game on Thursday night.

LAST

Here’s some things we can’t wait to see the back of, or predicting we won’t see again.

If the NZ Warriors fail to make the eight, will it be the last time someone will call them sleeping giants or has to be their year?

Last game of Origin. Not only will it end the prolonged tedious Origin periods with shit 4 game rounds with no origin stars.

It will also hopefully end our reliance on Channel Nein for the year and Fox Sports get the Grand Final.

By season’s end the last we’ve heard of the following: Semi Radradra, Ben Barba, SBW and any other person who wants to get a quick cash boost by playing French Union. Au revoir. No need to return.

We’ve already seen our last Footy Show for the year. Great to see in a year of Fox League and new programming and shows that Channel Nein’s best work is men dressing up in Wedding Dresses. Some of your best work. Worth a Logie surely. Logies, another thing on Channel Nein not worth watching. Although both are better than the Alan Border Medal or Sunday NRL on Nein.

PLENTY

Here’s where we like to see or can imagine plenty of stuff.

Plenty of people would surely be interested in a Magic Weekend like in the UK Super League where all teams play at one ground over 2 days. Usually a Non Regular League ground. Never happen in NRL unless AFL did it and they copied 10 years later.

We will be watching plenty of Fox League. Somehow we’ll try and fit in more than last year.

Weekly previews by us. Each week we’ll have a quick rundown on the weekend ahead, plus our very “best bets”.

Plenty of people pointing fingers at Ben Hunt if the Broncos season starts to go pear shape. With Benji Marshall and Chris Sandow plying their trade in the Queensland Cup, the Brisbane side are well stocked for backups.

Plenty of interest in Jarryd Hayne. Hopeful rugby league has had a cold shower since last season.

Plenty of Sports betting ads and in game references. Will it go the way of Benson and Hedges. At least we avoid Tom Waterhouse these days. He is the Michael Slater of Betting.

NONE

No Sunday Afternoon rugby league in South East Queensland. Except for plenty of Queensland Cup action, so catch the local league instead. Doesn’t everyone love their Sunday Footy?

No movement from the NRL on expansion. Given the talent on show at the Nines earlier in the year, and just how easily the positions are filled during the season by Under 20’s or State based players, the argument against small talent pool is beginning to be less believable. The fact that Kalyn Ponga can only get a game for Cowboys when someone is injured is a golden sign we need more opportunities for players. Argue of the where later, argue about the who and when now.

Channel Nein games watched by us in the regular season.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About Max Layne 264 Articles
Max has no time for long bios, he has only time for sport and then more sport. Each week he tries to sum up what sport has tickled the collective fancy of The Gurgler.

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