Six People to Avoid at the Races – Gurgler Six Pack


Going to the Races can be a wonderful day out, but beware – they are people to avoid at the races.

For once a year or slightly better or worse you can dress up in an outfit usually reserved for funerals or a friends barefoot wedding on the beach at Noosa, Kingscliff or Bali.

It’s also a great day out for having a friendly wager with friends, seeing if the logic of serious form study can beat someone picking on names or colours.

But some people out there are determined to ruin your day out, and we list below Six of the worst people to avoid at a raceday. Well, there are actually seven after some help from one of our fans.



Fashion at the races is an industry that makes a lot of money and gathers almost as much attention as the races themselves.

But as one gets older, the distance between being fashionable and not grows. And it should stay that way, it’s part of getting older.

Skin Tight slacks and pencil thins ties is great for young gents, but for those in Generation X it reeks of try-hard and should know better. They are people to avoid at the races.



Sometimes one can have a day at the races where they don’t trouble the Tote Operators for a collect. It happens, and more than people will admit.

But nothing is worse on a very bad day than the jerk in your group who tells you after the race that they would have backed the winner. But didn’t.

These people are often low consumers of alcohol, and their presence at future events should be questioned.

When asked they usually sum their raceday up by saying they are even because they don’t bet. At this stage they should receive a kick up the arse from all and banishment.



Drinks at the races are expensive enough without them going missing. The devious races character the Mine Sweeper is the one who pinches your drinks when you’re back is turned, usually when watching the local races live. Much like the Hamburgler, except they are an arsehole who needs a giant boot up their arse.

They are a close relation of the Shout Dodger. And equally despicable being. The Shout Dodger will join the group early and retire close to their turn. This doesn’t mean they’ll stop drinking, just stop paying for yours.


THE Completely Unhelpful Non Tipster HELPFUL TIPSTER

This person tips you for every race.  Problem is, they start by giving you losing tips to the point that you have run out of punting money and give up, just concentrating on the drink. 

It is at this point the c_nt Helpful Tipster actually starts winning, even turning into The Show-Better (see below) whilst you lick your wounds with XXXX Gold, $3 Trifectas on the Greyhounds and Ice Water.



Most people bet within their means to enjoy. For some that means just a couple each way or a five on the nose. For other a lobster and mustard is the default betting option.

But for some it is much higher, and they need to let you know it.

These people when approached for their selection will insist on showing you the ticket or tell you the amount without explaining their selection, and await your gasp of respect for the size of the wager.

Whilst they can be generous when winning with a hearty shout, they also fall under the WWW(LLL) category of only describing the wins, whilst hiding the losses.



At the other end of the betting scale is the person who is having a shocker, but unlike others who appreciate a hole in the wallet comes with racing and head to the bar for their 12th plastic cup of Superdry, they sulk and attempt to bring down the mood of the group.

Some tend to increase the time spent with their Best Bets in the hope of turning it around, and you should pray they do, as they will be worth avoiding in town after the event. They can usually be found in the corner of the Pub TAB still chasing losses with the lowest form of sports betting – Harness Racing.



A great way to have a good time and a few bets at the Races is within a pool of friends, all agreeing to a certain punters schedule for the day. It gives maximum betting for minimum waste of cash.

What ruins these small groups is when someone sneakily goes outside the parameters, and backs against the group’s horse.

It usually is limited to the person who is having the worst day for the group of punters.

You will of course only find out after the race has finished, giving you no time to adjust betting. It will also be likely to be announced at the same time as their winning ticket is presented for all that it was their “Special of the Day”. 

These people are also more likely to be a sneaky One’ers drinker or Shout Dodger too. So beware.



About Kaaps Loche 239 Articles
Kaaps doesn’t sleep much, and has a 60inch full HD TV and Foxtel, therefore watches more television than most. is also very strange and has a slightly different outlook on life, so comes up with a lot of rubbish that he thinks is funny and usually isn’t. Out of sympathy, we publish his stuff from time to time. So prepare your sympathy laughs and put that lovely drawing on the fridge for Kaaps.

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply