Australian Cricket Stinks – Let The Blame Game Begin

It's official - Australian Cricket stinks. After some of the worse performances seen on home soil in a long time it is about time the blame game started.

australian cricket stinks

After the dreadful performances in the Perth and Hobart on the back of the Sri Lankan tour it is safe to say Australian Cricket stinks at the moment.

Maybe people are too used to success, or maybe the Australian Cricket fans are embarrassed and angry about how low we have stooped.

Australian Cricket stinks, but all credit to South Africa, who have made us look almost incapable of beating a Sunday Warehouse team at Marchant Park at the moment.

But who is to blame? Everyone has a theory, and many have come out and defended themselves over the past two days. All of them are guilty, but who or what is ultimately responsible. Why not hang around, grab the popcorn and find out over the next few weeks. Or follow our suggestions below.

ROD MARSH

Should have been the first to fall after years of Dud decisions. Previous legend status is no excuse for ridiculous selection policies.

One of his final selection sore points was the selection of one bowler over another bowler because he bats better before the summer’s first test. Pfffft are we going that bad that we need our number 11 to score a quick fire 30?

Short answer is yes.

He’s gone now and rightfully so, and we’ve already discussed Rod Marsh and the new 21st Century Selection policy earlier.

PAT HOWARD

“High Performance Manager” is a lovely title. Hard to deliver though. And he certainly hasn’t delivered much that his title promises.

A home World Cup and thrashing of a distracted England and bored West Indians are about the only highlights of his tenure.

Plenty of One Day games in between, but who remembers them or cares about them at the time.

But what did one expect. Not much good has come out of rugby for ages. Certainly not High Performance.

A poor man’s Michael Lynagh then a poor man’s High Performance Manager now.

JAMES SUTHERLAND

The bucks stops at the top, and it seems bucks is all that matters to Cricket Australia.

Ensuring we keep TV companies and other Cricket nations happy first is great if you’re winning.

The scheduling is stuffing our test chances, and driving most players to the physio rather than the nets.

THE LACK OF SHEFFIELD SHIELD ACTION BEFORE TESTS

One big failing is downgrading the importance of Sheffield Shield cricket.

Whereas in the past it was a super compeditive competition that drove players to their best until they finally got the chance after years. It is now a sideline from which selectors seems to pick from the highlights on Fox Sports News or an article in the paper.

Why on earth the predominantly Sydney based Domestic One Day comp needs to be on early in the summer is beyond us.

If the Shield was on first, then players would be battle hardened and match ready by the time the First Test comes along. Not just bashing sixes over the tiny fences at Bankstown and North Sydney.

MICHAEL CLARKE

Got the summer off to the worst possible start by making it all about him.

He used his long winded tome to defend himself against years of tyranny in the Australian team.

With all and sundry lining up to argue the other side, surely all those other players can’t be wrong.

Thankfully he’s found a home with all the other self promoting ex cricketers on the Channel Nein commentary team.

Without the distraction of Clarke, maybe Australian cricket could have focused on performance.

CHANNEL NEIN COMMENTARY TEAM

There are many reasons that Australian Cricket stinks that are attributable to Channel Nein. Here are some of the highlights.

We already knew in advance that this Summer of Cricket was going suck, and boycotted it before the summer started.

Kevin Pietersen’s suits – distracting the players.

Comm Box Camera – once again proving the coverage is about them than the action. Players aren’t trying in frustration of less camera time.

Michael Slater – the fear of the Australian players having to talk to Slater after a good performance has scared them into underachievement.

Sunday Afternoon NRL – Players have been dismayed at the constant scheduling of all Sydney games on a Sunday. The announcement for Round 1 for 2017 shows that nothing is likely to change.

SPONSORS

KFC – maybe too much of sponsor’s product has slowed them down. Who could blame them with the blanket marketing.

COMMONWEALTH BANK – maybe if they weren’t so busy keeping sponsors happy with awful, awful ads, they’d be scoring more runs. More net practice not net cashflow.

Though nothing will top the Wolfblass ads from back in the days for cringeworthy selling.

OTHERS

GOBBLEDOK

Since the Gobbledok is no longer around to steal the chips on their shoulders.

ZOOPER DOOPERS

Their marketing blitz during last year’s T20 comp may have killed off perennial rival the Sunnyboy as the pre-eminent summer treat.  Players can’t wait to get dropped from the Test team and into in the domestic league for the flavoured ice gravy train.

SUPERMOON

The timing of the Supermoon can be directly related back to other times when Australian Cricket stinks. Hopefully by 2034 we have an action plan to combat this or it turns up in winter.

 

About Max Layne 223 Articles
Max has no time for long bios, he has only time for sport and then more sport. Each week he tries to sum up what sport has tickled the collective fancy of The Gurgler.

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