Crap Fantales – Olympics Edition Countdown – #2 Jumpin’ Jai Taurima

Our series of forgotten Olympics athletes continues with an athlete who got a silver lining in the Long Jump in Sydney in 2000 on a diet of Burgers and Smokes.

At The Gurgler we celebrate the forgotten and forgettable. Giving those who have long disappeared from the memory of the ordinary person on the street a chance to rush back into the consciousness of the three and a half people that read this website.

We did it with our A to Z of Rugby League players recently, and our first installment of Olympic Crap Fantales with Martin Vinnicombe – mmmmmmedal winner.

Those unfamiliar with The Gurgler’s Crap Fantales should know it doesn’t necessarily mean we think the subject is crap, it is just that in comparison the uber-famous celebrities that adorn the biographical treat currently, a normal person who follows trends like the Kardashians, Deconstructed Sandwiches on Reality Cooking Shows and potentially drives a Jeep would think they are rather crap. Here is where to find the archive of Crap Fantales.

And so with the Olympics looming, we continue our series of Olympic Crap Fantales with Jumping Jai Taurima.

In a world of ever increasing professionalism and clichéd boredom of the modern sportsperson, Jai Taurima was your athlete for the everyman, and everywoman. And a breath of fresh air.

In an interview with the ABC before the silver lining of the Sydney Olympics, the Long Jumping king admitted that his diet and regime included a pack of cigarettes a day, pizzas and hamburgers as well as late nights. He did tone it down for befoe the Olympics, but when pressed on his training routine in the same interview he replied with “Oh, long jump’s a pretty easy event. You just run 50 metres and jump, basically. It’s not that hard. If I was running a 200, I think that would hurt quite a bit.” A truly great honest Australian hero answer.

And just to prove how normal this Olympic athlete was, this is how he advised he’d spend his time after the Olympics “I’m going to get my girlfriend Kerry Perkins to bring a surf board for me and I’ll go for a night surf, without a doubt that’s the first thing I’m going to do. And go straight out to a pub somewhere – definitely. Have a few quiet ones.”

He may not have won Gold, but he is an Olympic Champion in our book. And silver in the Olympics is still some kind of feat, especially factoring in his ways.

For the record he fell just 6cm short of Olympic Gold, and even led after nailing a 8.49 on his fifth (of six) jumps. That’s after qualifying fourth overall for the final. He was trumped by the wily Cuban powerhouse Ivan Pedroso.

So clap your hands in time as we salute Jumping Jai Taurima and his induction into our Olympic Crap Fantales Hall of Fame.

Relive his moment of glory below with thanks from Youtube.




About Kaaps Loche 231 Articles
Kaaps doesn’t sleep much, and has a 60inch full HD TV and Foxtel, therefore watches more television than most. is also very strange and has a slightly different outlook on life, so comes up with a lot of rubbish that he thinks is funny and usually isn’t. Out of sympathy, we publish his stuff from time to time. So prepare your sympathy laughs and put that lovely drawing on the fridge for Kaaps.