March 28, 2017

Yoplait is not French for Yoghurt, and neither are a few more things

Is Yoplait French for Yoghurt? No? Well what other lies do they make us believe. We discuss a few below.

Like discovering other untruths you were told as a child, it was a sad day when I finally worked out that Yoplait didn’t really mean French for Yoghurt. Sure should have known better after 20+ years on Earth, and it is no wonder the group of French backpackers were staring at me like I had brain damage. But that was after a few MF Lagers.

But we look into that, and a few others that annoy us below.

YOPLAIT IS FRENCH FOR YOGHURT
Yoplait is not French for Yoghurt, despite the ads insisting on the commercially viable translation, and the use of a Clouseau-esque character or equally stereotypical French scenes. unless the Google translation is wrong, which because it’s Google we trust completely and/or can’t be bothered checking any further. For the record, the French transaltion according to Google is Yaourt.

NINE’S WIDE WORLD OF SPORTS
Channel 9 used to be famed for their sporting coverage, it was even revolutionary, but these days the use of “Wide World” in the title is a long bow. Given all that is left is Rugby League and Cricket, and for Cricket just the home Australian games suffice these days, except for the Occasional Ashes in England. Rugby League is hardly world wide given it is only played in three states of Australia, and that their insistence on all Sydney clashes every Sunday (because we all love our Sunday footy) means that it is hardly a wide world. Any remnant of a Wide World of Sport disappeared when Nine gave up the Olympics, and after selecting people like James Brayshaw to do the rowing and Michael Slater to do the diving – thank the good lord. Although they do attempt to pick up Worldly sports when it is convenient like the 2002 World Cup in Japan/Korea. But give up quickly.

COURIER MAIL – NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR
For a while there the Courier Mail had a brag on the masthead quoting Newspaper of the Year. Forgive the ignorance if we missed the original announcement, but we never saw how it was clarified and what award it was or which body awarded them such an honour. If it were for the most outstanding newspaper in Queensland, that’s not hard given it is up against Regional and Quest papers with a fraction of the resources. If it won the Newspaper of the Year for outstanding bias towards a political party by a newspaper in the position of being the only paper in the state, or most square inches of ads per actual content then it was well rewarded. The award has since disappeared so maybe it no longer isn’t or ever was Newspaper of the Year.

SUNSHINE STATION
One would associate anything with Sunshine in its name with joy, or happiness, but maybe not in this case. Set in the heart of an Industrial Estate on Brisbane’s northside, there is nothing particularly sunny, or bright about Sunshine. Sure it serves a purpose, as the only memory The Gurgler has of the place is needing an emergency late night stop after far too many drinks and forgetting it was the last train home. But it is hardly somewhere to be shiny or happy. Certainly no Shiny Happy people at Sunshine. Or REM.

“SOCIAL EXPERIMENTS” ON TV
Don’t be fooled by the term New Social Experiment, as this loosely translates as “We stole this idea off another similar show (or exactly same titled show) from the UK or USA” and have thrown in some kind of medical professional or actor in a white coat and clipboard/Ipad to make it look more legit. Once the initial intrigue wears off, an underbelly of another load of reality dross and tedium kicks in. Although they do tend to be more realistic than shows like Big Brother in which contestants perform activities that most wouldn’t in reality, and Masterchef, where a simple make a sandwich challenge produces a deconstructed pile of bread, salad and condiments scattered on a plank of wood, it is still the same mundane rubbish and is hardly ground breaking.

Are there any more that should be named and shamed? Or Tell us that we stink. Drop us a line below.

About Kaaps Loche 175 Articles
Kaaps doesn’t sleep much, and has a 60inch full HD TV and Foxtel, therefore watches more television than most. is also very strange and has a slightly different outlook on life, so comes up with a lot of rubbish that he thinks is funny and usually isn’t. Out of sympathy, we publish his stuff from time to time. So prepare your sympathy laughs and put that lovely drawing on the fridge for Kaaps.
%d bloggers like this: