The Gurgler’s Book Club Presents….Le Poop-litzer Book List – Essential Toilet Book reads

Isn't it time The Gurgler had its own Book Club. Of course it is. Welcome to the first installment of the Gurgler's Book Club. This time we feature the best of books that can be read on the can.

We like books, but don’t really have time to read as much these days with all the sport and miscellaneous TV that has to be watched, it won’t watch itself you know.

But who has the time these days, and the only other decent place is on Public Transport, but who wants the person next to you reading over your shoulder. You get all that privacy in the smallest room in the house, unless your bathroom has a spectator grandstand.

Whilst Toilet Reading won’t reach the heights of Peter Duffy popularity, it certainly has an audience, and it’s just the kind of audience  we like and want at The Gurgler. Could we call it a Page of Thrones? Or course we can, and we will.

The key to a good Toilet read is a book that is not too intensive or long to read. It needs to be punchy, with the ability to pick it up from anywhere when it suits. Provide the barest of information for the barest of behinds. It doesn’t always have to be sport, but, well actually it sort does, but we have provided some non sporting examples.

So, here’s our list of suggestions of books for the smallest room in the house.

 

Grand Prix Circuits: History and Course Map for Every Formula One Circuit

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Need to know about every Formula One track used since the start of the Championship in 1950? You sure do, and this book provides the right amount of information combined with a nice double page of each track map. Set yourself a goal of learning 5 tracks a day, and soon you will be in F1 anorak territory. Population us and you.

 

Merv Hughes’ Best Sporting Insults: A Collection of Killer Lines from Our Favourite Aussie Sports

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Who doesn’t like a good sledge, and this book provides the finest of them, and with Merv Hughes involved in the project, how could it go wrong. Why not use a few in your social sporting endeavours.

 

1000 Football Clubs: Teams, Stadiums, and Legends of the Beautiful Game

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Why not impress friends and colleagues with your new found knowledge of Football teams. With this book you’ll be able to tell a Gremio from a Grimsby and which Stadium of Light is in which country. All the information you need and way too much more is waiting for your poo-rusal.

 

Dirty Northern B*st*rds!” And Other Tales From The Terraces: The Story of Britain’s Football Chants

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What’s better than knowing about Football Clubs, maybe some of the legendary and quick witted chants that get sung and make attending a Football game such an experience. Some of them are pretty nasty too, but a good chuckle awaits with this book.

 

Warwick Capper: Fool Forward

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Although may technically fall outside the short and punchy guidelines, it was co-written by Warwick himself, so you wouldn’t think it would be too hard to read.

 

London A to Z

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Ever wondered where stuff is in London, or if you have lived there a trip down memory lane to all the Wetherspoons you visited in your time there. There’s also the challenge to find all Football teams home grounds in London without looking up the index. Maybe you just want to study a page a day in your throne time.

 

Lawn Care for Dummies

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Don’t say we aren’t helpful, you can use your You-Time to brush up on the basics of lawn care and impress the whole family with the results of your secret study boot camp in the bathroom.

 

The Darwin Awards

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Well known by now, but if you indulged it is a tremendous collection of stories of people doing very stupid things. This is just the first in the collection, so you may end up reading the whole series if or when you get hooked.

 

Fox Tossing: And Other Forgotten and Dangerous Sports, Pastimes, and Games

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A window into how people killed time before Facebook, Smart Phones and Altered Beast.

 

HOW I CONQUERED YOUR PLANET by John Swartwelder

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Are you a fan of The Simpsons back when it was good? Well from the writer of 59 of those golden episodes comes a range of short novels with all the humour you’d hope for from the Golden Mirkin era of Simpsons. With only a couple of 100 pages and short chapters, it is the perfectly sized fiction book for your sit and read. There’s plenty to choose from, we’ve selected the best here.

 

Butterflies of North America

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Why should it always be about sport, what about one for the nature buffs. Description from Amazon.

* More than 2,300 images of butterflies in natural, lifelike poses * Pictorial table of contents * Convenient one-page index * Full index that doubles as a life list * Similar species arranged side by side for easy comparison * Range maps on text pages showing where each species is common or rare and indicating seasons of occurrence.

It has it all.

 

Finally, let’s finish on a classy note…..

The Book of Poo: A Spotter’s Guide

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It is what it says it is, and for some reason this has been assembled for the number two fans out there.

 

You could use the traditional newspaper, but given the quality of the News Ltd papers these days, and in some states of Australia there is no choice, it is better served for the final part of the process. And reading your phone on the toilet is just down right disgusting and wrong. Not like reading a book.

 

About Kaaps Loche 201 Articles
Kaaps doesn’t sleep much, and has a 60inch full HD TV and Foxtel, therefore watches more television than most. is also very strange and has a slightly different outlook on life, so comes up with a lot of rubbish that he thinks is funny and usually isn’t. Out of sympathy, we publish his stuff from time to time. So prepare your sympathy laughs and put that lovely drawing on the fridge for Kaaps.