Betting on a Budget – Novelty Bets to liven up the 2016 Budget speech

Politics is boring right? Of course it is, but life can be boring, and there's nothing that invigorates anything like a novelty bet or two.

Upon reaching an age and some level of maturity where the budget should start to become required reading, it is still hard for it to capture the imagination, especially during this period of sporting saturation.

Not sure whether it is the tedious news reporting or tit for tat catchphrase-a-thon that brings a giant “Meh” whenever the words Budget appear in a newspaper or heard on TV, or maybe it is just the same BS every year with a slight or giant ripping off of “Working Families” or “Self Funded Retirees” or “Smokers” depending on the colour of the party in power.

Either way, it is normally allowed to pass with limited interest. Except for the good folk at a certain betting company who have provided a glorious distraction to the event, which will make tuning in quite entertaining.

So with thanks to the Sportsbet company, here’s a selection of betting market to enhance your 2016 Budget Night experience.

The full range of markets can be viewed here, but we have a handful of our favourites with our selections below. And pity the poor person at the betting company that has to measure all these betting types.

 

SIZE OF DEFICIT

Start off with an easy to measure, more serious option.

$20B to $24.99B  $                3.25
$25B to $29.99B  $                3.25
$30B to $34.99B  $                3.25
Others over  $                7.00

 

GURGLER TIPS – $25B to $29.99B

 

BUDGET SPEECH LENGTH

Next up is something that should keep you interested for the length of the speech – the length of the speech.

27 min to 28 min  $       3.00
28 min to 29 min  $       3.00
29 min to 30 min  $       5.00
Others over  $       6.00

GURGLER TIPS – 29 mins to 30 mins

 

FIRST CATCH PHRASE USED

A nice early one to get in the mood, and use the usually tedious catch phrases for your entertainment value.

Our Transitioning Economy  $                3.00
Jobs and growth  $                4.00
Economic Direction  $                5.50
Others over  $                7.50

GURGLER TIPS – Do more with less @ $11

 

THE NUMBER OF HEAR HEARS DURING SPEECH

Hear Hear we say at this tremendous betting option, much like the use of the term “Ball” in AFL to the uninitiated, this is a noise everyone can enjoy making and betting on.

Less than 25  $                7.50
25 to 29  $                5.50
30 to 34  $                4.00
35 to 39  $                3.00
40 to 44  $                5.50
45 or more  $                5.00

GURGLER TIPS – 45 or more

 

THE NUMBER OF JEERS DURING SPEECH

Nowhere near as fun as the Hear Hears, but a good backup option to run in tandem with the previous option.

None  $              11.00
1 to 4  $                6.00
5 to 9  $                2.00
10 to 14  $                4.00
15 or more  $                5.00

GURGLER TIPS – 10 to 14

 

SCOTT MORRISON FOREHEAD SWEAT BEADS.

Pure street money, but isn’t that what this is all about and just the way you like it. Worth betting on just so someone in the betting company has to measure it.

Over 49.5  $                1.87
Under 49.5  $                1.87

GURGLER TIPS – Over 49.5

 

TREASURER TO COUGH DURING SPEECH

Never before will you follow a Budget speech so closely, waiting for that one cough to collect. Or cough up. A large glass if you will.

No  $                1.10
Yes  $                6.00

GURGLER TIPS – Yes

 

MOST USED BUZZWORD

Another bet that turns tedious into studious as you attempt to keep up with the buzzwords.

Transition/transitioning  $       3.00
Innovation/Innovating/Innovative  $       5.00
Opportunity/opportunities/opportunistic  $       6.00
Invest/Investing/Investment  $       7.50
Strong/Stronger/Strength  $       7.50
Others over  $    11.00

GURGLER TIPS – Challenge/Challenging @ 16.00

 

YEAR OF NEXT SURPLUS

How about a long term investment? This betting type allows you to sit on your “investment” for years to come. Or why not bet on Never and wait for the payout.

2016/17  $  251.00
2017/18  $    11.00
2018/19  $       2.00
2019/20 or later, or never  $       1.87

GURGLER TIPS – Why not bet on Never, you may be right one day.

About Kaaps Loche 216 Articles
Kaaps doesn’t sleep much, and has a 60inch full HD TV and Foxtel, therefore watches more television than most. is also very strange and has a slightly different outlook on life, so comes up with a lot of rubbish that he thinks is funny and usually isn’t. Out of sympathy, we publish his stuff from time to time. So prepare your sympathy laughs and put that lovely drawing on the fridge for Kaaps.