June 28, 2017

The Gurgler Six Pack – Gurgler-Bet Inc – Proudly Presents – Alternative Lotteries

A lottery based on the 1st decimal of the Temperature of the Capital Cities at Noon. Sounds like a ridiculous betting opportunity we'd come up with, but no, it is actually real and you can bet on it now. But since the challenge has been thrown down, here's our selection of 6 more potential lotteries on offer.

Hard to think that someone could have possibly dreamed up a lottery in which the winning numbers are drawn from the first number after the decimal for the capital cities at Noon. But it is true, check out their website here.

It’s all raising money for charity, and available every weekday, so it is a really great way to raise some money for some excellent charities. We certainly don’t begrudge the charities for an excellent idea we’re just annoyed that we didn’t come up with such a great and obscure way to gamble.

We’ll set that right now, with the long overdue return of the Gurgler Six Pack, and our alternative lotteries. All supporting Gurgler charities of course.

 

THE COLES/WOOLWORTHS/ALDI GROCERY GRAB LOTTERY

You can see these supermarket behemoths getting on board for their slice of the pie with our first alternative that involves their non perishable products.

HOW DOES IT WORK?

Every day at 9am the <Insert Supermarket here> places a selection of 30 Quality Canned Goods, Other Non Perishable Items, and Spam into a giant tumbler and draws 7 cans out of that 30. The magic numbers is then determined by using the barcode on the product and the number on the can that corresponds with the order in which it is drawn. e.g. 1st item – 1st number on barcode – all the way to 7th item and 7th barcode number.

Not only is this a fun way to bet on lottery for charity, think of the marketing opportunities and the companies that will be falling over themselves to get their product on the air. Draws are televised on the TV4ME channel every weekday at 9am, except for the Queen’s Birthday, and St Patrick’s Day.

You can also use you Woolworths reward card when submitting your entry, and like Woolworths we’ll give you nothing in return.

 

THE EUROPEAN GOAL COUNT LOTTERY

The Pools was once one of the finest ways to gamble, attempting to pick score draws from a bunch of selected fixtures. We have a new offering as part of our new suite of Lottery options.

HOW DOES IT WORK?

There are eight divisions from which you must select the total amount of goals score on a given match day. Featuring English divisions Premier League, Championship, League One and Two, and European divisions from Spain, Italy, France and Germany one must select a number between 0 and the highest option 50+ in each of the eight divisions to share in the major prize. At only $2 per entry it could be better value than a multi. It would certainly be a better chance of winning than some of the rubbish tips The Gurgler provides.

 

 

THE DAILY GRIND LOTTERY

Is there anything worse than trying to get home in capital city traffic? Well now you can bet on the outcome with our Daily Grind Lottery.

HOW DOES IT WORK?

We have a specially nominated Gurgler Bet employee in each capital city ready to leave the CBD at 5pm in their trusty Toyota Soarer, and you have to pick how long it takes to get home in a pre determined end point in minutes. There will always be a location from each capital city each day (including Darwin), and the exact end location will be announced at 12pm the previous day, giving you plenty of time to study. To keep it fresh, the end point will change daily. If you are lucky and smart enough to pick all 7 exact trip times in minutes, you will win the jackpot. Betting is live right up until the 5pm departure.

 

THE RADRADRA LOTTERY

Now that Aussie Semi is on board for Australian rugby league, what better way than to celebrate with a lottery dedicated to The Gurgler’s favourite NRL player.

HOW DOES IT WORK?

We pick eight different statistics for each NRL game that features Semi Radradra, and you the s-m-r-t punter will be able to choose the number that corresponds to the on field stat.

The stats are: Runs, Run metres, Tries, Points, Errors, Missed Tackles, Tackles, Mentions of Name in broadcast.

If Semi is unavailable there will be nominated reserve players that will be listed in order. Usually Townsville Blackhawk’s Willie Minoga.

 

THE RUBBER DUCK RACE

People want ducks, and there’s nothing funnier than seeing 500 of them swimming down the river. Now Gurgler Bet provides and opportunity to bet on the outcome.

HOW DOES IT WORK?

We line up 500 ducks in our man made 500m artificial Gurgler Bet river, and to win the $2 million Jackpot you have to select the first 6 ducks to cross the line. We set them off at 3pm and the race will be broadcast via The Weather Channel. Sounds easy, because it is, and we can see at least three winners a week.

 

 

OPTION 6

A Six Pack is a great idea for a theme of similar news ideas, and normally we have a solid bronze  or myrrh ideas to share but when you can’t think of 6 half decent ones, it’s a pain in the arse. These have been considerably weak, so consider the towel thrown in at five, and we’ll spare you the pain of reading a sixth, not that the previous five were much better.

 

 

About Kaaps Loche 189 Articles
Kaaps doesn’t sleep much, and has a 60inch full HD TV and Foxtel, therefore watches more television than most. is also very strange and has a slightly different outlook on life, so comes up with a lot of rubbish that he thinks is funny and usually isn’t. Out of sympathy, we publish his stuff from time to time. So prepare your sympathy laughs and put that lovely drawing on the fridge for Kaaps.
%d bloggers like this: