Other Food That Will Give You Cancer – The Gurgler Six Pack

Just about everything will give you cancer these days after finding out that bacon, sausages and red meat. How about adding another six products to that list.

So, the World Health Organisation stated during the week that foods like Bacon, Sausages and Red Meat will give you a bigger chance at getting cancer. A shame, that’s a lot of good stuff being crossed out there, staples of the Gurgler’s diet. So what are other food that will give you cancer?

It seems just about everything increases your chance at getting cancer, and since we have very few readers here at The Gurgler, we want to ensure we keep you alive as long as possible so you can read more of our crap.

Here’s another list of six we provide from time to time, this edition is our Six Pack of more Foods to avoid if you want to avoid cancer.

1 – YELLOWCAKE
It does sound delicious, but Yellowcake is a product of the processing of Uranium, so is best avoided for after dinner treats, and all other meals.

2 – AAA BATTERIES
As much as Zinc sounds delicious, eating any more than three AAA Batteries will increase your chances at catching cancer.

3 – ESTAPOL
Estapol may be resistant to wear, normal household chemicals and moderate heat, but it does look good on your crumpets in the morning. Watch out, having Estapol for breakfast will certainly increase your chances at cancer.

4 – BALSA WOOD
Sure it looks like a nice Cruskit, and come to think of it, would probably taste the same, but these are best avoided if you wish you avoid cancer, and if you must please don’t put Ham on top of it.

5 – MILKOS
Is there any coincidence that these sweets can only be located in showbags at annual fairs and exhibitions around Australia? We have no idea but using the Today Tonight presumption of guilt before proven innocent, we declare best to stay away.

6 – RUGBY UNION WORLD CUP
Stress and lack of sleep can be bigger triggers to sickness than Ham or a steak, so with late nights wasted watching the RWC, just think it could be affecting your health.

Just to be safe – here’s what the news wants you to follow as the new Food Triangle…

pete evans food triangle

We prefer the following Health Triangle at The Gurgler. Follow it for a full and healthy life.

gurgler triangle

About Kaaps Loche 207 Articles
Kaaps doesn’t sleep much, and has a 60inch full HD TV and Foxtel, therefore watches more television than most. is also very strange and has a slightly different outlook on life, so comes up with a lot of rubbish that he thinks is funny and usually isn’t. Out of sympathy, we publish his stuff from time to time. So prepare your sympathy laughs and put that lovely drawing on the fridge for Kaaps.