It’s Brisbane Exhibition Time aka The Ekka, and there are two good things to come out of the Ekka each year. One is a much welcome midweek day at home, the other is ekka showbags.
But the ekka showbags of these days are so commercial, and with such little value for your Ekka spend, it’s nothing like it used to be. As ever The Gurgler is there to pick up the slack of the usual samples on offer, by presenting six of the best alternative showbags for your consideration.
THE BRONWYN BISHOP TRAVEL RIGHT EKKA SHOWBAG
1 x Helicopter ride to the function of your choice.
1 x Remote Control Helicopter to relive those moments.
10 x Business Class Flights per year.
COST: Never mind, just charge it to expenses.
RRP VALUE: $250,000 in Super for the rest of your life.
THE BILL COSBY MAGIC PILLS AND POTION EKKA SHOWBAG
1 x Career’s supply of special pills and potions
9 x Weekend supply of Rohypnol
1 x Set of Cosby Play Hush Money
1 x Theo Action Figure. Theeeeeeeeoooo.
RRP VALUE: Loss of career and lifetime reputation.
THE F!FA EKKA SHOWBAG
100 Million Ruble
100 Million Qatari Riyal
1 x Portable Shredder
1 x Fake Resignation Letter
1 x Guide to US Prisons
1 x Vote for your house for the World Cup
COST: Make an offer
RRP VALUE: Plenty.
THE WILLIE MINOGA SHOWBAG
1 x Lifesize Cutout.
Nothing Else needed.
RRP VALUE: Priceless
THE TENNIS JERKS EKKA SHOWBAGS
1 x Get out of Jail free card
1 x Personalised Twitter Account
2 x Hall of Shame Tournament Tickets
1 x Replacement Racquet
1 x Scorn of the Australian Public
1 x Night Out with Robert Allenby
1 x Day of Junior Football with the Fifita Brothers
1 x Sense of Entitlement
1 x Tennis Jerks – The Bingo Boardgame
Find out more about Tennis Jerk Bingo here.
COST: A few Ranking spot and Tennis Australia Support
VALUE: Very little, very little indeed.
THE COURIER MAIL EKKA SHOWBAG
1 x LNP Membership
1 x Free Courier Mail of the day.
1 x Make your own XXXXXXX of the Year sticker.
COST: $1.20 a day