Australian Open for Tennis Jerks – The Final Rounds

So you got a taste of the Australian Open for Tennis Jerks, now it’s time for the business end of the game, an time to find out who is the biggest jerk in Australian tennis.

Given the recent behaviour it’s going to be a good tussle.

ROUND 2

BERNARD TOMIC v  SANDON STOLLE
It was a bit rough on Sandon Stolle making it this far, he’s no jerk. His opponent sure is, anyone who is ranked outside the top 300 and refuses to hit with a Wimbledon champ because it was allegedly beneath him is on their way to jerkdom.

WINNER – TOMIC

DAMIR DOKIC v MARK PHILIPPOUSSIS
OK, so Damir wasn’t an Australian player, but he sure was a top notch Aussie Tennis jerk. The Scud, unlikeable as he was, wasn’t really a jerk. And making a Grand Slam final is some achievement. His only real crime was breaking Delta Goodrem’s heart’s, and given how much of a jerk she’s turned out to be, maybe praise should be given.

WINNER – DOKIC

NICK KYGRIOS v THANASIS KOKKINAKIS
Battle of the next generation of Jerk, and after Wimbledon with antics galore, Nick is more polished at being a jerk at this stage of his career. Given the examples set, Thanasis might not be too far away from prime.

WINNER – KYGRIOS

PAT CASH v LLEYTON HEWITT
One thing in common, at least these players can back up their antics with achievement, and at Wimbledon no less. But on the jerk playing field Pat Cash has nothing over Lleyton’s best. The questioning of a linesman and insinuating that he favoured another player along racial lines means easy passage to the next round.

WINNER – LLEYTON HEWITT

 

SEMI FINALS

BERNARD TOMIC v DAMIR DOKIC
Neither gentleman are welcome anyway, Damir especially has been excluded from many a venue. But Bernard playing up on the Gold Coast as a Toolie is quintessential Jerk behaviour. Only a jerk is a Toolie during Gold Coast Schoolies. Plus add in all the fines and behaviour and run ins with Police over his driving his flashy car. Result is in no doubt here.

WINNER – BERNARD TOMIC

NICK KYGRIOS v LLEYTON HEWITT
Hard one this, possibly a lot of the modern day jerk behaviour all comes from Lleyton’s antics from the past, but such was the performance of Kygrios of late, and attitude of entitlement after a handful of great, promising results that he just scrapes past Lleyton. That and the last match at Wimbledon typified the relative attitudes towards their sport. Lleyton for all his crimes never gave up, or appeared to give up.

WINNER – NICK KYGRIOS

 

FINAL

BERNARD TOMIC V NICK KYGRIOS

The Dream Final on paper and ranking to see who Australia’s biggest Tennis jerk is. But surely the result is in no doubt. The spray delivered by Tomic after another promising campaign ended up in disappointment, blaming everyone from Tennis Australia to Pat Rafter, Global Warming, and the Greek Financial crisis for his problems. Given his attitude to owning a very expensive car, that fact that he thinks he should received any help from anyone shows above the top shelf jerk qualities. Making him as likeable as a punch to the face.

Kygrios has tried his hardest recently, and going out in sympathy with Tomic for the upcoming Davis Cup tie shows a real dedication to challenge Tomic for the top spot at next year;s open.

WINNER

AUSTRALIAN OPEN OF TENNIS JERKS

BERNARD TOMIC

 

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About Kaaps Loche 226 Articles

Kaaps doesn’t sleep much, and has a 60inch full HD TV and Foxtel, therefore watches more television than most.

is also very strange and has a slightly different outlook on life, so comes up with a lot of rubbish that he thinks is funny and usually isn’t.

Out of sympathy, we publish his stuff from time to time. So prepare your sympathy laughs and put that lovely drawing on the fridge for Kaaps.