Given the justifiable outrage at the live Greyhound baiting 4 Corner expose recently, and the inevitable conga line of tsks tsker and people crying for us to think of the children and have a Greyhound Racing ban, we think instead of cancelling all dog racing, maybe we could give it a quick upgrade to make it more family friendly or less offensive for those who are concerned Greyhound racing is evil.
Don’t get us wrong, we don’t like live baiting, and maybe in this PC world the sort of replica rabbit used to lure the dogs into running could be seen as wrong too, so why not replace the current lure with a few of our suggestions.
1 – A FOUR CORNERS LOGO
Given the programs effect on the industry, I’m sure there are trainers who would love the chance to train their dogs to catch a rubber or plastic 4 Corners logo.
2 – A BAD OF DOG FOOD
Not only a safe and nutritious option for the Greyhound, the advertising and sponsorship possibilities are endless. Well, endless for Greyhound Racing. We recommend Goodos.
3 – TENNIS BALL
Why not go back to a normal dogs roots and just have a tennis ball dangling around the track.
4 – A STICK
Given the finances around Greyhound racing, escpeially after these recentr troucles, maybe just a stick could be used, which could be sourced from anywhere for nothing.
5 – MICHAEL SLATER HAND PUPPET
Now this won’t have an actual hand in it, nor does it need to be Michael Slater, but it could be anyone who is hated by the Greyhound community, or once again used as a commercial pathway. Let’s say a Twitter poll each week to decide who should be the Greyhound lure for the next meeting. Would create hashtag madness every week.
6 – A PINATA FULL OF SCHMAKOS
Going a little further than the hand puppet is the piñata, which could be filled with anything, but schmakos is the best option to keep the dogs running. Unlike the current lure which when the dogs catch it hurts their future racing option, the piñata with its internal bounty of goodness would be a good reward for catching the prize. And really who wouldn’t want to see the footage of the dogs catching and destroying the piñata. Especially commercial news which this would provide hearty filler and many guffaws for the weekend morning news bore fests.
Anything really to keep Dog Racing going. It is not pure evil, and we hope a solution can be found. The Gurgler does love its Greyhound Racing.