Gurgler’s 2014 Sporting Year in Review

As 2014 draws to a close, and various much better websites than ours are signing off with a retrospective, we’ve decided if everyone else is doing it, why can’t we? First up will be our thoughts on the year of sport. Featuring broken droughts, broken World Cup dreams, new innovations in waste water disposal and the Winter Olympics AND Commonwealth Games in one year, it was a biggun’


– South Sydney finally putting their fans out of their misery and winning a premiership a mere 43 years after their previous. A good sign for the equality of the comp is that Souths still hold the most premierships overall despite the wait. A Golden Generation of Burgess Brothers, Sutton, inglis, Reynolds, Sutton, Luke. young no names at the start of the year turned good and Sutton have finally achieved a premiership to match the promise in the squad. With a few departures out and some uninspiring names coming in to replace them, it was time to nail that crown.

– The Football World Cup and more specifically the first group stage of the world cup was sensational. Most games including the dreaded score of 0-0 on paper were fantastic with plenty of attacking football and great goals. Enough action to keep one awake at some of the less sociable times for the early rounds. Thankfully as the tournament progressed the start times became more worker-friendly. In the end the best team won, with Germany beating Argentina in a deserved result for the game and the tournament. Also great were the underdog performances of Costa Rica, USA, Mexico and Columbia.

– So long ago it barely seems correct that the Aussies completed their pants down pummelling of England in the Ashes. After talk of English dynasties it fell apart over 5 tests down under, and the cycle of pain was complete when Swann retired mid series and leading run scorer and person most likely Pietersen was the fall guy in the wash up.

– Dan Ricciardo’s form for Red Bull surprised most, and probably the most surprised was the  4 time Champions Sebastian Vettel  as the Aussie gave him a season-long touch up in the Red Bull. His wins may have been opportunistic but were no less deserved as he was the clear best after the two Mercedes cars, and one could argue on a par with one and better than the other of the Mercedes drivers given the performance edge they had. His drive in Abu Dhabi summed up his season. He’ll be aware that the incoming Kyvat doesn’t do the same to him next year.

– Brad Hogg in the Big Bash. Bowler of the tournament and a Gurgler Favourite. Spun his way to success with Perth who clinched the title and grabbed himself some Aussie T20 caps on the back of his delicious Chinaman.

– Other quick ones:

A Decent Four Nations League Tournament

A Decent FA Cup final

Keeping the England cricket team to one win for the summer.


– FIFA. Let’s see, where to start? Maybe the ridiculous opulence of their multi, multi, million dollar temporary tent constructed to host the World Cup draw. Or perhaps the handling of the report into the clearly dodgy bid process of Russia and Qatar where instead of releasing the report in full they singled out the whistleblowers instead of the wrong-doers, and sat of the good stuff leading the investigator to resign. Or maybe it was the many millions spent on a film about FIFA. Or maybe it’s Sepp Blatter’s backdown on not applying for another term as head of the rot. Or luxury watches. Or the refusal to allow goalline technology and then introduce heralding it was your idea  all along. Or, everything they do. An organisation that makes the Zimbabwe government look the like a P and C committee. The only fix is for ALL European teams to boycott the next World Cup, unlikely but would send the required message.

– Overreaction to Horse Deaths at Melbourne Cup. Whilst incredibly sad and awful, a lot of the do-gooders had to post their horror to horse racing with the usual ignorance to the fact that it happens outside of the Melbourne Cup carnival. No doubt a fair chunk of those will have forgotten this by November next year when they place their 2 eac hway on next year’s race.

– Other quick ones

– Arjen Robben falling over within breath of any defender at The World Cup infuriated.

– The attempted justification of Suarez’s bite and eventual blame on the British press

– Rugby League admin continue to seemingly have no idea and lag a decade behind AFL

– Rugby Union.



PNG HUNTERS in the QRL – first time participants turned on the style in suburban grounds Brisbane and Qld wide with their devil may care attack and smashing the bejesus out of opposition defence.



– The Honey Badger. Rugby have since realised that having the only interesting thing in their sport back is a good idea. We mean good interesting, not the bad interesting like Kurtley Beale and co.


THE WOW SURPRISE OF THE YEAR Brought You By Brash’s Or Chandler’s X-Site

– Germany’s thrashing of Brazil 7-1 in the World Cup semi. The quickest to keep 200 million people quiet.


THE RELIEF OF THE YEAR brought to you by Gaviscon.

– The last five minutes of the NRL Grand Final as a Souths fan.


THE MEH OF THE YEAR brought to you by Maxxis Tyres.

– Dual winners – Winter Olympic and the Commonwealth games.

– Any Closing ceremony of any sporting event. Ever.


THE UNDERDOGS OF THE YEAR – brought to you by Bus Stop Advertising Replacement workers Australia-wide.

– Atletico Madrid beating the two big boys of Spanish Football to the Spanish League title. And coming within a whisker of being European champions as well.

– Jules Bianchi scoring points for Marussia at Monaco. Hopefully will be remembered as much as his untimely collision with the tractor at Suzuka.

– AUCKLAND CITY nearly making the FIFA Club World Club Challenge Final.

– GWS beating the Sydney Swans
THE NEARLY MOMENT OF THE YEAR brought to you by Channel 10’s Breakfast News Show attempts

– Australia hitting the front against Holland in the World Cup and allowing the early morning fans a chance to dream and reason to stay awake.


THE ANTI CLIMAX OF THE YEAR brought to you by New Year’s Eve.

– AFL Grand Final. Sydney Swans who could also claim the Greg Norman Choke of the year as well forgot that the playing well during the Grand Final is the best way to win a premiership.


INNOVATION OF THE YEAR brought to you by Todds Hi Fi

–  The Vanishing spray at the Football World Cup. So simple, so effective, so fresh and so clean, clean.


THE WAIT AND SEE brought to you by the Inzamam Ul Haq Guide to Running between Wickets

– Nick Kyrgios – there’s plenty of talent and potential, and plenty of confiedence and a touch of Mundine. Will it be Newc-like achievement of Scud/Tomic type douchery?

– Formula E – good idea on paper as most usually are. Racing on the streets of Indonesia, Uruguay and others in oversize remote control cars that have a battery that only last half a race leading to a complete car change mid race and featuring drivers who have officially given up on ever driving in F1  again could work.

– A League – the ever feted sleeping giant is slowly rising with crowd figures from the early rounds starting to compare favourably with the NRL.


THE SCHADENFREUDE OF THE YEAR brought to you by Superchicken and Rainbow Video

– The England football team’s exit at the same early stage of the Football World Cup as Australia, and the subsequent with hunting.

– The implosion at Manly-Warringah

– Rugby union slowly going broke and obsolete.


THE SPORTS TV OF THE YEAR brought to you by Chris Conroy’s World of Boats.

– Santo, Sam and Ed’s Total Football

– Soccer AM – if you can find a download.

– The Back Page

– The Thursday Night Sports Show

– QRL on a Sunday Afternoon

– Live F1 Race and Qualy and the introduction of Alan Jones and Rust only as the Ten men.


THE WORST SPORTS TV OF THE YEAR – brought to you by Michael Slater

– Wide World of Sports

– The Cricket Show – Delayed coverage of Sunday afternoon games (yes, we know it’s being fixed this year but this is for 2014, so shut up)

– Insistence from Channel 9 that they know what games fans want on TV for the NRL.

– Crowbarring any “network personality” into any sporting coverage.

– Melbourne Cup non actual race coverage.


THE SHUT THE F*** UP OF THE YEAR brought to you by the Nokia 6210

– F1’s Bernie Ecclestone for his ability to ensure F1 remains the most elite “sport” on earth.

– Ray Hadley – better heard on radio. Bad enough it’s Broncos every Friday night without the “blessing” of the poor man’s Ray.

– MICHAEL SLATER / IAN HEALY – a joint award – one for just being himself, and the other for someone who needs a more exciting self.
WE’LL MISS YOU award brought to you by The Old It’s A Knockout.

– Caterham F1 Team

– Marussia F1 Team

– Gold Coast Titans

– Kerry O’Keeffe from the ABC Grandstand Team

– Phil Hughes

– Andrea de Cesaris


GOOD RIDDANCE – brought to you by Stone’s Ginger Wine.

– Kevin Pietersen’s international career.

– Todd Carney from Australian Rugby League. We hope.

– Channel 9 hosting the Olympics.


About Max Layne 274 Articles
Max has no time for long bios, he has only time for sport and then more sport. Each week he tries to sum up what sport has tickled the collective fancy of The Gurgler.