Fussball Frolics – Gurgler’s Bundesliga Weekly

We’ve been accused of being far too English-centric with our Football coverage, so we thought we’d get as far away from the English game as possible.

Please accept our all new German Bundesliga Football Weekly, proudly brought to you each week by Count Klaus von Dutchmann III.


The Bundesliga had a weekend off for teams to play in the Champions League with mixed results all round.  Although Borussia Dortmund secured a scrappy win in Rd 14 against Hoffenheim, they could only manage a draw against Anderlecht in their pool match on the weekend.  Why is this significant?  With Dortmund sitting on the wrong end of the Table, they needed to boost the morale of the black and gold faithful.  They did this by pouring beers at the Christmas party!

Pourussia Dortmund

Getting the fans drunk may work for a few rounds, lets hope the Christmas cheer continues against 15th place Ho Ho Hertha Berlin


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The game of the week though is Bayer 04 Leverkusen versus Borussia Monchengladbach.  They are equal 4th with Leverkusen ahead on goal difference.  My tip is Leverkusen with the home advantage. Also the Hoffenheim/Eintracht Frankfurt game should be a christmas cracker.  Certainly a Kenny Calendar special, with the nose broken in 3 places.  I’m steering clear of it in my multi.  I hear the edelweiss asking, ‘what about 1st vs 3rd’?? Well Bayern Munchen are playing out of their skins in both the league and champions league. Augsburg seem to be running on borrowed time to be in 3rd.  I have the HP sauce ready to eat these words if the improbable happens.  The rest of the games arent worth my royal time reporting on.


As for Bundesliga 2, they don’t have to worry about the Champions League so it has been business as usual.  Ingoldstadt and Kaiserslautern are firming up their automatic promotion chances, but they are playing each other this weekend in a 1st vs 2nd battle for the ages.  Not since the germanic tribes took on caesar has the Audi Sportpark seen a bigger contest.  If Ingolstadt win, they will just extend their lead at the top, but with Karlsruher SC (3rd) like to be defeat TSV 1860 Munich (16), the german red devils will lose their second spot.  So you could say that one game will determine the whole season.  Or not



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So it’s all come to this, our best selections and tips for you to turn into many dollar, pound, euro or rupee. Please accept our best bets.


$1 pays $45.79

Hoffenheim draw against Eintracht Frankfurt

Hamburg defeat Freiburg

Hannover 96 defeat Werder Bremen

Shalke 04 defeat FC Koln


Bundesliga 2

$1 pays $53.94

FC Heidenheim defeats Erzgebirge Aue

Eintracht Braunshweig draws FC Union Berlin

Karlsruher defeats 1860 Munchen

Kaiserlautern defeats FC Ingolstadt


FOOTBALL - MORE STATSSo you want more? Well we shall reward your perseverance thus far and dazzle you with some more important stats that matter. Or don’t. Whatever.



[table caption=”Bundesliga Form,” width=”350″ colwidth=”100|200|50″ colalign=”left|left|center”]


Unbeaten,Bayern Munich,14

Wins,Bayern Munich,5

Without Win,Mainz,6


Most Draws,Mainz,7 (14)

Best Home Record,Bayern Munich,24pts (8)

Worst Home Record,Stuttgart,4pts (7)

Best Away Record,Bayern Munich,12pts (6)

Worst Away Record,Hamburg/Dortmund/H Berlin,4pts (7)

Most Goals Scored last 6,Wolfsburg,15

Least Goals Scored last 6,Dortmund/Mainz,5

Most Goals Conceded Last 6,Stuttgart,16

Least Goals Conceded Last 6,Bayern Munich,1



[table caption=”Bundesliga 2 Form,” width=”350″ colwidth=”100|200|50″ colalign=”left|left|center”]



Wins,Ingolstadt/K’lautern/Un Berlin/Aalen,2

Without Win,St Pauli,7

Loss,Erzgebirge Aue,4

Most Draws,Darmstadt/Bochum,8 (16)

Best Home Record,Kaiserslautern,21pts (9)

Worst Home Record,FSV Frankfurt,3pts (7)

Best Away Record,Fortuna Dusseldorf/Ingolstadt,15pts (8)

Worst Away Record,Erzgebirge Aue,3pts (9)

Most Goals Scored last 6,Braunschweig/Karlsruhe/FSV F’furt/Un Berlin,10

Least Goals Scored last 6,Erzgebirge Aue,4

Most Goals Conceded Last 6,St Pauli,19

Least Goals Conceded Last 6,Karlsruhe/Darmstadt,1




These stats and so many more courtesy of a much better website – www.whoscored.com


About Klaus Dutchmann 3 Articles
Count Dutchmann was born in Wankendorf in 1975 to the noble house of Schauenburg. His family lineage stems from the County of Holstein-Kiel, one of the oldest in greater Germany. Being an only child to Klaus von Dutchmann II and Inga Kochstuffen he was privately educated and groomed for his title from birth. Training that was unfortunately needed earlier than anyone anticipated, when his parents were victims of the Great Engel Disaster of 1989, when residents of Wankendorf were unawares the family were playing the popular role playing game, and proceeded to sentence them to death by Scaphism without trial. Thrust into his new role and needing to reassert his family’s honour, he poured a substantial amount of his inheritance into the local Fussball team, Holstein Kiel. The side was a powerhouse in the Northern Germany league until the Bundesliga was formed, when all of the talented players from the area were drafted into the bigger clubs. Having slipped into the 4th division, Count Dutchmann saw an opportunity to get his citizens back in favour. After restoring the stadium to its former glory, he then convinced some of the home grown talent to stay in the region, rather heading to one of the larger cities. His vision, rather, investment, paid off with Holstein Kiel winning the Regionallliga Nord in 2013. Thegurgler.com welcomes Count Klaus von Dutchmann III as its Bundesliga correspondent