Welcome to the latest addition to The Gurgler’s line up of stories and opinion – The Gurgler Six Pack.
Each week, or whenever we can be bothered, we’ll take a topic or event out of the esky that we wish to open the lid on and serve up six of our finest servings on the matter.
They won’t be Crown Lager or Crown Larger quality, nor will they be OP Rum above the top shelf quality either. They will be as you expect from The Gurgler – barely amusing, reasonably lame, yet surprisingly obscure or forgotten and hardly relevant to the main topic.
It is a punter’s race after all, and we try and give the punters what they want.
Here’s this week’s Six Pack:
OBSCURE JOBS WE’D LIKE
We like our current jobs here The Gurgler, but every now and again we like to dream about living the dream and doing a job we’d love. No Doctors and Vets here though, not only do we not want to have to study for 10 years, we also want the jobs that not many others would want.
1 – PERSON WHO HOLDS THE VIDEO CABLE FOR THE CAMERAMAN AT FOOTBALL GAMES
Why not get the best seat in the house and get paid to so. Fools pays hundreds of dollars to sit on ground level at big football games across Australia, we’d rather earn money for the privilege. And, if you can’t hold onto some cords and give enough slack for the cameraman then you don’t deserve this prestigious position.
2 – CHEQUERED FLAG WAIVER AT A GRAND PRIX
Possibly a job not as exciting as it used to be tucked behind a safety wall and cage, and it seems only reserved the highest of A Grade celebrity. But certainly if allowed onto the track and waiving old school like Glen Dix from the Adelaide era GPs, it is a job we’ll put our hand up for.
3 – FOOD TASTER THAT AWARDS BEST OF SOMETHING RIBBON
One wonders how certain products are awarded the best of something. We wonder how we can get the job of awarding the best of prize to beer products, pies, pizzas, steak, and meth. We hope labcoat, thick glasses, hair net, and clipboard are included or at least tax refundable,
4 – VOICEOVER FOR THE FOOTBALL LEAGUE SHOWS ROUND UP OF LOWER DIVISIONS
The Gurgler likes Football and obscure things. These combine so beautifully in the BBC’s round up of the three lower divisions. We get envious though of the handful of people who get to voiceover the best bits, goals and sendings off from Carlisle to Plymouth to Hartlepool to Colchester. So we clear our throats with an ahem aimed at the BBC if they decide to recruit.
5 – CANDIDATE FOR THE SEAT OF EDEN MONARO
No seat in Australian Politics captures the imagination like ol’ E-M. With the eternal title of bell-weather seat, everyone including and especially Antony Green love to talk about the most popular electorate. Who wouldn’t want to be one of those esteemed candidates getting their faces on Election coverages as they watch the votes come in at the local Bowls Club. A close second in the field of politics would be Former Labour Powerbroker.
6 – ARCHITECT OF SPACED THEMED SHOPPING CENTRES
FACT – A Spaced Themed shopping centre was once the jewel of the northside of Brisbane. Someone obviously was so far ahead of their time or so far deluded that giant dome like structures placed to act as a Shopping Centre in the suburban utopia that was Kallangur was an excellent idea. Well we think it was and would love the opportunity to turn another slice of useful wasteland into futuristic gold.