Gurgler’s NRL Grand Final Preview

So it has come to this, the last game of the NRL this season. We normally try to be reasonably impartial here at The Gurgler, but as a Souths fan who has not been alive for a premiership, one can forgive us if the coverage is a little one-sided.

To balance out the ledger, here is a song at Souths’ expense for your to sing along, and after the game if the title goes to Belmore and not Redfern.

The 12 Days of Souths Premierships.
In the 43 years since Souths last win, our true love gave to us….
12 Doomsday Predictions
11 World Cups of Football
10 Prime Ministers
9 Footy Show Logies
8 New Nissan Pulsars
7 New NRL Teams
6 Broncos Premierships
5 Wooden Spoons
4 Rooster Premierships
3 Iraq Conflicts
2 Club Mergers * does not include Northern Eagles
1 Tooheys Cup Win

So there’s a lot of things that have happened since the last final/premiership. An entire generation (X) have remained cynical, and many believe it is a direct relationships to the lack of South premierships.

A lot has happened this year too. Halfway through the year a Bulldogs-Souths Grand Final looked like a decent chance of happening. However some patchy form from Souths, and some truly awful form for the Bulldogs made it look as likely as a cricketer hosting a football show. Hang on a minute…I guess unlikely (and unlikeable) things happens from time to time. Just like this final, unlikely though not unlikeable.

The NRL’s two most passionate fans will certainly add more atmosphere than last year’s final, in which the buzz around the ground only picked up when Roosters looked likely to win. And, yes I was there at last year’s final, so I know. Some Souths fans were silly enough to buy tickets to last year’s final in July and none this year.

So, if you’re not a Souths or Bulldogs fans, why the hell should you care, and what can you do to make your Grand Final experience all the better? Beer, betting, and spite. We’ll list all of the below for your consideration.

BEER – please see our NRL Grand Final drinking game in a previous article.

BETTING – Here’s our best bets – not forgetting our Sports Weekly tips hauled in a nice $580-1 multi last week.

CLIVE CHURCHILL – Inglis ($5.50) or Sutton ($15)
LAST TRY SCORER – Sutton, Teo or any Burgess
1ST TRY SCORER SECOND HALF – Keery or Reynolds
Souths 18-14
Souths 36-8
Souths 22-6
Souths 46-14
Souths 23-14
Souths 19-10
Souths 40-12
Souths 32-16

5 Reasons for Neutrals to Support Souths
– You still think Russell Crowe should have won an Oscar for A Beautiful Mind
– Your favourite colours are Red and/or Green
– You live on the Southside of your City/Town
– You feel sorry for long-suffering Souths fans
– You are not a Roosters or Bulldogs fan.

5 Reasons for Neutrals to Support Bulldogs
– You own a dog
– You think Russell Crows is a complete F***wit
– You enjoy the song Who Let The Dogs Out
– Your last name is or is related to a Hughes, Mortimer or Moore
– You support a team who hasn’t won a premiership yet, or whose teams will be replaced by Souths as the longest to wait for a Premierships.

Anyway, enjoy the day, and don’t forget the two lower grades on show (one and possibly the only thing the NRL beats the AFL for on Grand Final day), including the long overdue State Championship between QRL and NSWRL.

Sincere hopes you enjoy the “entertainment” on offer too. We’ve suggested some alternatives in our poll to the right.

About Kaaps Loche 234 Articles
Kaaps doesn’t sleep much, and has a 60inch full HD TV and Foxtel, therefore watches more television than most. is also very strange and has a slightly different outlook on life, so comes up with a lot of rubbish that he thinks is funny and usually isn’t. Out of sympathy, we publish his stuff from time to time. So prepare your sympathy laughs and put that lovely drawing on the fridge for Kaaps.