DNPQ – Monaco Edition

Ah yes, Monaco, the jewel in the crown they will all say heading into the weekend. It does deserve the hype though. It’s the GP all the celebrities want to go to, and even a lowly F1 blogger like this author.

With all the celebrities, million dollar yachts, glamour it’s hard not to soak it all up. Although for those who don’t feature in a Who Weekly mag or two it’s a different experience.

For instance, a grandstand seat involves getting to a crowded hill and sit with a tree stump up your arse for four hours too scared to have a drink or eat so you don’t have to send your waste down the 1:4 gradient hill.

Drinks? No fancy champagne or energy drinks or Johnnie Walker or cocktails at the Casino. Try a 10% super-maxi at room (outside 26 degree) temperature. Or how about some Red Beer from f*** knows which European country.

Catering? Any chance of some caviar, truffles infused with a cumquat and mint reduction, or roast pigeon. Not likely. How about some sandwiches that were “being given away”. Closer to the truth is a friend finding premade sandwiches in a bin on their way back from the toilet and eating them on Tabac corner in front of the richest F1 fans on the calendar.

But you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Once you get to tour around the track you soon have even more respect for the men who bravely tour around a circuit not much bigger or wider than a standard inner city back street.

One also doesn’t need to have been there to enjoy the race. Just the fact that in this day of nanny state, safety conscious, Gluten Free that we live in, is a reason to marvel and respect.

So join us at 10pm Australian time Sunday night for all the fun. Anyomne who gets to watch it in daylight around the world – good luck.

Racing wise it looks that this may be the only chance in a while that someone can stop Mercedes and more so Hamilton.

Pole here being the most important pole of the year, it may lead to a surprise in qualifying backed up by a stellar drive to hold off the silver arrows.

Although it’s unlikely as Mercs seems much quicker than all, refer the gap from the last race, we will still tip some roughies for your consideration. As P2 proved there’s rain about. And in a dominant season – where there’s rain there’s hope.

Further below we’ve included our favourite Monaco GPs.

And don’t forget to learn those corner names to impress your friends, work colleagues and ghosts. They also substitute as great pseudonyms.

ADRIAN SUTIL – Top 6 ($200.00) Top 10 ($9)
A man who excels here and will have to really outperform the car. Watch out for random Kimis up the rear end.
NICO HULKENBURG – Win/Pole ($126) or Podium ($12)
A Gurgler favourite, and perhaps a win here may land him a top seat he deserves.
BOTTAS – Pole $101
Some dreadful Williams cars have done well at Monaco in the past (2006 Williams with MW) and Bottas proved last year he’s capable of qualifying gold.
SEBASTIAN VETTEL – Fastest Lap $10
Why not.
1st RETIRMENT – depends on Grid.

Monaco GP 1996 –
Monaco GP 1982 –
Monaco GP 1984 –
Monaco GP 1997 –
Monaco GP 1989 –


About Kaaps Loche 239 Articles
Kaaps doesn’t sleep much, and has a 60inch full HD TV and Foxtel, therefore watches more television than most. is also very strange and has a slightly different outlook on life, so comes up with a lot of rubbish that he thinks is funny and usually isn’t. Out of sympathy, we publish his stuff from time to time. So prepare your sympathy laughs and put that lovely drawing on the fridge for Kaaps.